Tom Riddle and the Snorelacks
by Everlasting Purple
Summary: Harry becomes the Divination teacher in the 1940s and takes Tom on a field trip. This is crack. Nuff said.
1. Chapter 1

First chapter

Tom Riddle and the Snorelacks.

Sum: Harry becomes the Divination teacher in the 1940s and takes Tom on a field trip. This is crack. Nuff said.

This may or may not be funny I'm not sure, if anyone does think it's at least mildly amusing let me know and I'll put the next chapter. If it sucks let me know that too.

This chapter has now been Betaed.

Tom's P.O.V.

I once again found myself almost begging Headmaster Dippet to let me stay at Hogwarts for the summer.

"I wouldn't be any trouble Sir, if I could just stay here for the-"

He cut me off as if I was a silly little boy that was being purposely annoying.

"Come now Tom. You know there aren't any of the teachers that could stay here for the whole year-"

"Who's staying here for the whole year?"

Cut in my Divination Professor, who was looking absent minded again. Harry Potter was very strange man, what with showing up out of nowhere, and pretending to be from the future. No one believed him of course, but when he made some accurate predictions he was deemed a seer and became the Divination teacher.

"Hmm, oh! Professor Potter. No one is, you see-"

"I did last year, though I'm thinking of going somewhere this year. Was Tom going to be staying this year?"

Sometimes he talked with a strange casual innocence and then threw out something that completely baffled the person he was talking to. Naturally I was weary.

"No Harry-"

Dippet was getting flustered. And the Headmaster lied to me when he said no one was staying here last year. He will pay.

"You really should let the children stay here that want to, Headmaster. You do them a great disservice."

Surprising. No one had ever taken my side before on that issue.

The headmaster sputtered.

He was getting there.

"I could take some children with me on my trip. This school doesn't have enough field trips at all."

The Headmaster's jaw dropped.

"The school doesn't have any field trips!"

Almost there.

"No? That's not good. Well I'll gather children to come with me anyways this summer."

And he has reached the level of bafflement.

"You can't do that-"

Wait a moment, what did Potter just say again?

"Sure I can! I just need to ask their parent's permission and I can do anything I want in the summer. You don't have any authorities than Headmaster."

I joined the Headmaster in bafflement.

"I'll start making some permission forms up! Thank you for the idea Headmaster."

And Harry Potter cheerfully walked off humming. There are times when I admire that man.


	2. How it happened

Thank for the reviews! I love reviews!

And this is how it happened.

This has now been Betaed.

"I'm sorry dear boy, but you must be confused! There is no way you could possibly be from the future!" Said a younger Professor Dumbledore, and who unknowingly sealing his fate, Headmaster Dippet agreed as well.

"What? But I am! Why couldn't I be?"

"Because silly boy! If you were from the future it would destroy space and time and we wouldn't be here right now. That is to say that nothing would ever be here and now would not exist." Dippet answered cheerfully.

"But, but I know the future!"

"Really? Well then why don't you tell us some it?"

"Err well, Headmaster Dippet retires in three years and Professor Dumbledore becomes headmaster, and-"

"That's enough."

"What? How is that-"

"You see I just decide when I would retire this morning and as no one knows about it yet you did indeed tell the future."

"So you believe me-"

"No, not at all my dear boy! All this proves is that you are a seer." Harry gaped at Dumbledore.

"Bah, ah, huh?"

"And you're in luck! We happen to have a vacancy for our Divination class! I don't know if you had noticed, but you did quite a lot of damage to the grounds when you fell from hundreds of feet in the air and made a fairly large creator, so this is the perfect way for you to repay the school!"

"…"

"I do believe he fainted Albus."

"You seem to be right. No matter its perfectly normal for seers to faint on occasion."

"Too true, Albus."

"Well that takes care of that."

"Are you sure he's not a spy Albus or someone evil that would harm the children?"

"Of course he's not! You should know by now that I am an excellent judge of character."

"You know one day those words could bite you in the –"

"Err…Headmaster? I had the weirdest dream…"

"Do tell. Seers are known for having strange dreams you know."

"Oh Merlin!"

"He has been called that before, mostly by muggleborns thou."

Dumbledore nodded sagely.

"They are always so disappointed I don't have a staff."

"You're crazy and I'm leaving."

"Go ahead my boy! Thou, I shall warn you that your wand snapped when you fell from hundreds of feet in the air." He produced the broken wand from out of nowhere and showed it to the now panicking man. Not like he wasn't panicking before, but now he was beyond panicking. Oh well.

"My wand!"

"Of course the school could loan you the money for a new wand… if you worked here so we know you would pay it back."

"I hate my life."

"That's the spirit!"


	3. Permission forms the excitment

I have a lot of plans for the Trip! If you can think of somthing you would like them to do, or go, or see please let me know it a review! Also it won't be just Harry and Tom at first so if there is any student in that time period you would like to go with them let me know now or forever hold your pie.

How exciting it's a long chapter!

This chapter has been Betaed.

Permission forms

Harry Potter sat on his desk and swung his legs back and forth happily. He had taught Divination for two years sense that faithful day when he fell from the sky. He still had no idea how to get home, but he was enjoying the break from having an evil manic trying to kill him. There were a lot of complicated things about time lines, other universes, and possibly saving the world that Harry had given up understanding after he had spent almost all of last year in the Hogwarts library. Instead Harry had a new plan a plan that would involve the greatest field trip Hogwarts had ever had! Muwhahaha! (Harry of course was ignoring that fact that this was the only field trip Hogwarts will have ever had.)

The 5th year Divination students ignored their Professor's laugher. It was common knowledge after all, that he was cracked as an egg and twice as scrambled. However a few more intuitive students noticed that there Professors laugh had an edge to it. An undertone that spoke of great forbidding. Tom was one of these students.

Tom's Point of view

Tom watched his teacher wearily. The man was planning something; well obviously even a fool could see that. Glancing at his stupid unsuspecting classmates Tom confirmed that his classmates were worse then fools. Not that he hadn't realized that some time ago, but it was still a depressing thought. Normally Tom wouldn't care that the man was planning something, the 'wanna be time traveler' didn't exactly come off as very threatening person. However due to the conversation that had been held yesterday Tom was very alert to the man's every movement.

Professor Potter could be his only hope to escaping the orphanage this year. As the man straighten, claimed his mouth shut into what looked like a blood thirsty smile and raised his wand to make a loud noise and shoot sparks into the air calling for the classes attention, Tom felt if only very slightly hopeful. And then Professor Potter spoke.

"Hello students! Can any of you predict what I am going to do this summer? No! Of course you can't and I'm not going to tell you. Well at least I shall give you no specifies about it! I am going on an adventure and I am taking at least a few of you with me."

Professor seemed to tremble in excitement as he gazed at his students seemly sizing them up for there usefulness.

"I was horrified to find out that Hogwarts does not offer any field trips. Luckily our good, great, and all around …err…intelligent Headmaster Dippit gave me the idea that I should do something it!"

The students seemed mystified by the odd Professor a common thing in this classroom, only a few of them beginning to look as if they could feel the possible upending doom that came with Potter's words.

"Now this trip may be fraught with perils or be rather mundane, we might actually accomplish something, or find it was entirely useless. No matter what happens I am certain you will learn something whither it is the meaning of life or how to bake a cake."

Several students were blinking oddly. Some students like Tom were trying to look underneath the underneath, to read between the lines of the Professor's words to find hidden wisdom or least some sense. They weren't having much luck.

"I shall not tell you setting of our travel or travels I will however tell you that the time will be the week after the last day of school. My trip shall last all summer, but you are all free to go home whenever you feel like it. I'll be passing out one way portkey to Hogwarts and letting you know the activation code so if at any time you feel your life may be at jeopardy or that your ears are in danger of falling off you may be sent swiftly to a place of safely, however keep in mind that doing so will be ending your trip."

"**Mr. Fudge!" **The words said sharply and completely randomly. Mr. Fudge fell out of his sit making a shocked sound. Then he scrambled back into his sit and addressed his teacher.

"Eeep! …Sir?"

"Pass these out to the class won't you Fudge?"

"Yes sir."

"What Mr. Fudge is handing out is permission forms you must get a parent or guardian sign. It is spelled against tampering by the way. It more or less says that you will be with me for an unknown amount of time in an unknown place and as long as I try to keep you from dying I won't get into trouble if you do die or get hurt."

Mr. Potter was stared at.

"Of course it sounds a lot better in the form. Please read the form the form and never sign one like it yourself because it has more loopholes then the some of the ministry laws…and that is really saying something."

Tom received his form and was rather surprised to see it was very formal and well written, as the Professor had said it was much like ministry laws. The thought made him smirk as he carefully considered putting his life in the hands of his mentally unstable teacher so as to escape his summer living quarters.

"Now for anyone that really wants to go, but doesn't believe they we be allowed to go. You may write to me and I can come by and try to convince your parent or guardian to allow you to go. Err if I actually want you to go that it. Sorry to be blunt, but if you're really annoying I'm probably not going to go out of my way to help you spent more time with me. Sorry."

He did not sound sorry at all by the way. Undoubtedly a few puffs were giving him points for honestly.

"Now for those of you that think this will be a time to goof off with friends you might be right or you might be wrong …and suffer."

"Alright then enough about that. Have you all been drinking your tea while I've been talking? No! Very well then. Please vanish whatever tea is still in your teapot and proceed to finding shapes in the mush. If you see a Grim I ask you not to join us on our trip this summer. Your death might ruin the mood for the others. If they actually like you that is, some of them might rejoice."

The last part was muttered as if he didn't want the impressionable 15 year olds to hear him. So of course they all heard and made appropriate faces.

Sometimes Tom admired the man and other times he felt like he wouldn't want to be associated with him ever, most of the time it was a cross between the two.


	4. Fond Memories

Hello everyone! I have one person who said they wanted Abraxas to join the fun on the trip and this amused me as I had already written him into this chapter when I saw that review. I think you will be amused by Harry's reaction to one of the people that made Lucius and Draco a reality.

So that is one vote for Abraxas to join the trip. I like him so he will most likely go.

This chapter has been Betaed.

Fond Memories

The bell rang and the class left. Harry was left with his thoughts and memories. He remembered his first day as a teacher. Being introduced to the students had not been fun.

Flashback!

First Morning

"Hello students. Some of you may have noticed the new landscape on Hogwart's grounds. I am talking of course, about the large creator that can now be found where the quidditch field is. You may be interested to know this is the work of that man right over there."

Said man seemed to shrink into his chair as he tried to ignore the hundreds of eyes now trained on his person.

"He is a very confused seer and he did not mean to blow up our grounds. I'm sure our caretaker will have it back to normal soon."

Both the new man at the staff table and the groundskeeper felt the need to glare at the Headmaster, or rather the idiotic man that stood at the center of their table.

"At the moment he has given us the name Harry Potter, but of course there is no such person and he is simply very confused. Until we know what his real name is you will be referring to him as Professor Potter from now on because he is joining our staff as the new Divination teacher. Please give a warm welcome to Professor Potter!"

Harry was sure if it was possible for eyebrows to clap his applause, that would have been a very large one indeed, however as they couldn't he received a very modest applause and the non-sound of many eyebrows rising in sequence.

End Flashback!

Now his first class had been much more fun. It was 3rd year and was mixed with all the houses as there weren't that many people who took Divination. Of course Tom was there, it was after all just Harry's luck that he would be.

Flashback!

First class.

Of course his first class was third years with Tom Riddle in it. Why wouldn't it be?

"Err…Hi! First of all I am Professor Potter and I am not a ruddy seer."

Might as well be honest.

"I'm a time traveler that apparently can't exist or time and space would have exploded or something."

Now that they had faith in the teacher let's give them some faith in the subject.

"Now Divination is completely pointless unless you are a seer or a centaur. Most of you won't see a thing in a crystal ball, will misread tea leafs, invent the dreams you are suppose to find meaning in, some may even ruin their life by believing in a very vague prophecy, *Cough* and others lives as well *Cough*."

He tried not to look at Tom Riddle, but failed miserably.

"So I am here…because I'm forced to be here, but I'm also here to see if any of you have an 'inner eye'." He did the bunny ears hand sign for 'inner eye'.

"Oh and to teach the rest of you how to act, look and go through the motions of muggle fortune tellers."

Harry noticed a few students looking at him with deep amusement, some of them seemed disappointed and unhappy, but most of them seemed disbelieving and unsure if they should be amused or not. Tom looked to be both disbelieving and amused and disappointed if that were even possible. Which, who knows it might be possible.

"Let's start with the crystal ball. You shouldn't be covering this yet, but it's not like you need to do anything in a certain order when it comes to this stuff. Get up and go get a ball over there and we shall start."

"Alright you all have your balls."

One annoying student decided to giggle.

"It's really not that funny."

"Look at them, clear your mind, and try to see something. Don't be surprised if you see fog or your reflection"

One happily-go-lucky Gryffindor snorted. Someone raised their hand.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?"

"How do we clear our minds Sir?" This was said snottily.

"I have no idea. Try not thinking and if that doesn't work find someone you know doesn't think and ask them."

The annoying giggling student was overcome with mirth and fell out of his sit.

**"I foresee a dark future for you Mr. Fudge!"**

The annoying one was reviled and he had this to say.

"Eeep!"

"No not really. I don't know anything about you, but your grandson or some relative or another will become the Ministry of Magic one day… and be a very stupid weak man that lines his pockets with Mr. Malfoy's son or his grandson or some relative's money, doing anything the Malfoy tells him to do."

Harry was stared at, but while he was on the subject of Malfoy.

"What's your first name?"

"…Abraxas sir."

"Ah. Considering the time period…Umm…Pity"

"What's a pity?"

Harry was amused that Malfoy seemed flustered.

"I forgot that you wouldn't live to see that and I was going to say something about your son, but it would be rather rude you did die rather young after all. Best I keep my mouth shut I suppose." Harry tailed off and gazed off into space completely amused by the Malfoy's expression and his rapidly paling skin.

"What exactly do you mean by-"Draco's grand daddy started with the air of being offended.

The bell rang.

"For homework look into a reflective surface and try to see something besides your own reflection. When you fail make something up and we will discuss that next class."

"Good by class."

Harry waved at them maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

End Flash back!

Harry found he enjoyed teaching. Considering he sometimes slipped up about people's futures and random futuristic things his students learned more about the future then he ever had from Trelawney, at least while he was in class that is. He wasn't counting her Prophesies that ruined his life.

Speaking of the Prophecy he had a faint hope if he could convince Tom that Divination was a load of crap maybe he would ignored the prophecy in his future and make a time line where Harry's parents weren't killed. What? It was perfectly reasonable and as good a reason as any, for why he made his class transfigure their clothes to look like a muggle fortune teller and practice their oracle voices. So he was bored when he made them do that. Trelawney always dressed that way so she must have thought it helped the powers of the inner eye, some way or another.


	5. Student opinion

Thank you so much for all the reviews! It makes me so happy!

Someone asked if there would be romance between Harry and Tom in this fic. My first reaction was no because this is a humor fic and I didn't want to go into romance, however with Harry's personality and Tom's current thoughts on Harry in this fic I can see where I could work in Tom have a humorish crush on his Divination Professor.

If I did this it would be in a humor stand point. If people wanted me to I could put in some fluff scenes between the two, but I don't think I'd be able to keep the amusement if they had a sexual relationship.

So what your opinion my friends? Yes have Harry/Tom or No don't have Harry/Tom?

Also I really wish my not logged in reviewers would log in so I could respond to them personally.

Student's opinion.

This chapter has been Betaed.

Harry Potter was sneaky, sly, and bold enough to follow people. He was not stalking, whatever gave you that idea?... Well he did have an invisibility cloak that no one knew about, but he was not stalking, just eavesdropping.

There was nothing wrong with dropping in sometimes, especially around snakes. Snakes that were discussing his up and coming field trip as a matter of fact.

Tom's P.O.V and _Harry's thoughts_

"So…" One of Tom's more unimportant minions addressed him.

"What do you think Tom?" Tom's other minions all turned to him wanted to hear his take before any of them expressed the wrong opinion, which one of them was bound to do anyway. In this case the idiot that spoke up was Lestrange.

"Well it's obvious that the man's a Lunatic. I wouldn't go on that trip of his for all the Galleons in Gringotts!"

_Like I would want you to come with me. You're not awesome enough to go on my Field Trip anyways!_

"I wasn't talking to-"Started the unimportant one.

"Then you would be a fool." Said Tom darkly, directing his eyes toward Lestrange the power in them making him cringe.

_Ohhh Burn! _

"I suppose it would be expecting too much from you to think you would have noticed that Potter was researching all last year. He spent more time in the Restricted section then all the 7th years combined." Tom turned his gaze from Lestrange to address the others that surrounded him in worship.

_What does that have to do with anything?_

"Professor Potter was planning on going on this trip alone before he deiced to involve students. As muddled as he appears we can't deny that he is a seer, and from what I've read about seers he sees much more clearly than most. He must see his journey being more successful if he includes some of the students." And now he saw that his minions were slowly beginning to think. Oh so slowly.

_Oh Tom. So smart, yet so wrong._

"I for one can think of worse things to do then see where a seer may lead." Tom thought this sentence was particularly inspiring. He certainly could think of a hundred and one worse things to do all of which involved being in that damn orphanage.

_Like sitting on his bed at the orphanage and starting at the wall. I could take the boy to a muggle theme park and it would be better than that place._

"Though by all means if the rest of you are too afraid of our 'oh so threatening 'Divination teacher then go ahead and do what you always do in the summer. There's nothing I love more then to hear about many house elf's you made cry." Several boys shifted uncomfortable. The same ones that had bored him with similar stories on the train returning from the summer each year.

_Ohhh Burn again! Damn now they're all going to try and come. Well I'm sure a muggle theme park would get rid of some of them. Maybe that should be my first stop?_

Deciding he had heard enough Harry carefully and quietly left.

"Ouch! Who stepped on my foot?"

... Or not. Considering how small Alphard Black was he sure did have some big feet.

There was nothing for it, but to silence his own feet, send a few bat boggy hexes over the group's head, and make a run for it! Thank goodness he had finally learned to cast without saying words.

Abraxas shot yet another cleaning spell at his disarrayed hair from behind the suit of armor he had taken shelter at. He didn't know who could made such a horrible spell, but when he founds out who, he would curse the sorry sod so badly the boy's great great grandchild would be able to feel it!

This was the 3rd time this year their group had been attacked by flying boogies! The evil disgusting things were still flying around where they had been standing previously. Tom and Cygnus were slowly getting rid of them. The things made from that most deplorable hex had to first be blasted and then vanished before they could multiply.

The Lestrange brothers had ran away, but Carrow, Orion and Alphard were all also taking shelter near Abraxas. Carrow and Orion were also concerned with casting as many cleaning charms as they possibly could, while Alphard was making himself useful to Tom and Cygnus with shielding spells.

It just at the point when Abraxas was satisfied with his hair and was moving on to his cloak sleeves when he heard the laughter. It was a red headed Gryffindor that had just decided to come through this specific corridor, that is near the dungeons.

"Weasley!" Abraxas and Orion spoke at the same time while Carrow seemed beyond anger.

Whether the Weasley boy was responsible or not he was now a target. He finally seemed to realize this, paling and then running. It was with unanimous agreement that Abraxas, Orion, and Carrow took off after the damned boy.

They were return to their common room hours later not yet satisfied and unknowingly about to be forced to face the wrath of the Lestrange brothers that they had already experienced.

It was pure reflex for Harry to grab the fleeing red head and pull him under the invisibility cloak. It was doubly so, because he was being chased by Slythrines one of which was a pale blond. The boy stopped struggling remarkably quickly after he saw the boy's chasing him pass by. Harry removed his hand from the boy's mouth and released his wand arm which he had pulled back so he wouldn't be cursed.

"... You are aware you aren't allow to run in the halls, aren't you?" Harry said calmly as he casually took the cloak off of both of them and folded it.

"I-what-Professor?"

Harry slowly tucked the very rare object back into his pocket.

"Is that-?" Harry smiled.

"Is what, what Mr. Weasley?"

"I- umm- nothing? Thank you?"

"You're a good kid Mr. Weasley. Have you heard about my field trip?"


	6. OWLs

I now have a Beta! The chapters won't be quite as fast, but the quality will increase a lot. Actually this was Beta pretty dang fast it's more discussing the story with someone that takes the time. Big thanks to my Beta! Your awesome!

And I have a poll up about the story! Go vote!

OWLs

It was almost summer, which meant that the greatest field trip in the world was nearing. Sadly Exam Week was coming before summer.

A Weasley

Septimus Weasley, and what a weird name that was, sat in a chair staring at his Divination's Professor. The very same Divination Professor that was supposed to be testing him. Said Professor was sitting on a cushion, on his desk with his legs crossed, hands on his knees with his palms up and his middle finger touching his thumb. His eyes were closed.

"Professor?"

"Shh!" Professor Potter whispered furiously.

Septimus was silent. Time passed and he was just about to get up and leave when his Professor spoke.

"What number am I thinking of?"

Septimus blinked.

"I don't know..."

The Professor opened his eyes.

"You're not very good at this are you? I was thinking of 7."

"Oh…What does this have to do with Divination?"

Harry blinked.

"Who said this had anything to do with Divination?"

"Err… It's the Owls test? Sir?"

"Oh that! Why in the world would you think you needed to show up for this test?"

"…Sir?"

"It is acknowledged I am a seer yes?"

"Yes…"

"So I already know how your going to not do on your test, because I have already seen your grade in my 'oh so powerful' inner eye."

"Oh…"

"Or I'm lying and I'm grading my students solely on how much I like them and their entrainment value."

Septimus blinked.

"So did you get that permission form signed yet?"

"Um not yet…I'm waiting to hear back from my folks, I did send it."

"Good, good."

Harry closed his eyes again.

"Sir where are we going on this trip?"

"Somewhere awesome Mr. Weasley. I foresee much awesomeness. What grade do you foresee yourself getting ?"

"Um…Exceeds Expectations?" The red head said hopefully he could really use another OWL.

Harry nodded.

"And so it shall be, done. Leave now."

"Err…OK? Thank you? Good bye?"

"Good bye ."

A Malfoy

Abraxas Malfoy another weird name, took a sit across from his Professor wearily. It seemed that almost every time he had spoken with his Professor, that man had alluded to Abraxas's future which would had been fine, if not for that fact that the seer appeared to foresee that Abraxas would die young, his son would be evil, and his grandson would be a git, an unveil git, but a git all the same.

It could be worse of course. He could die without children ending the Malfoy line, or his son could marry a mudblood, or lose all of their money somehow. Even so it was still a bit uncomfortable being around the man.

At least his Professor looked somewhat normal. He was in his chair for once and he was drinking tea. Abraxas relaxed slightly. He was surprisingly good at making out shapes in the m-... Reading teas, was the proper term. It was rather horrifying to think his batty Professor was leaving any impression on him at all.

"Abraxas, go fetch a tea pot."

Abraxas blinked, unsure if he was to be offended that he had called by his first name, offended by the fact he had been told to 'fetch' anything, or baffled by the fact that he needed a tea pot when his Professor already had a tea pot full of tea, was already drinking tea, and had a spare cup sat out which he had assumed was for himself.

"A red one."

Really, red? Potter was doing this on purpose no doubt, however there was a slight chance that Tom would force him to go on this trip thing the crazy Professor had dreamed up, and so Abraxas decided it would be for his own best interest to just get the tea pot. Once he got the tea pot and placed it down on his teacher's desk, he raised a superior eyebrow.

"The tea leaves are in the pink box."

Disbelief. Was he actually forcing him to make his own tea? He had House elves for that sort of thing! Potter must have caught on to his expression because he spoke.

"Many things are made more powerful because they are done by hand. Take one of the mortar and pestles and lightly crush the leaves."

It was infuriating to have to obey the man. He was a Malfoy, and the Professor never had any of them make their own teas before. To save time the man had always had large pots of tea already ready, at each table where they could pour some into their cups and either drink it or vanish it to stare at the small dregs at the bottom. You didn't get as much of the dregs when one pot was used for two or more tea cups.

When he was done his teacher refilled his own cup and gave Abraxas one as well.

"Tell me if you were a seer and could see many useless things, most of which were impossible to be sure about. What would you do?"

"Well…" He said after a moment trying to think of something to say to answer that without making any common noises of one who doesn't know how to react.

"Do you know what I would do? I would mess with people's heads and make them do utterly pointless things. I already know what you're going to see in that tea cup and I know because I frustrated you, you are going to misinterpret something and therefore would receive only an acceptable. Of course I also know if I hadn't made you do something you believe is below yourself you would have made an O, but only because I picked tea leaves."

Harry smiled pleasantly.

"If I picked the crystal ball you would make a P and if I picked palm reading and asked you certain things you would make a D, but if I asked other things you would make an E."

"I-You!" The blond didn't seem able to make up his mind between shocked or furious, or was it a bit of both.

"Which is why the very idea of having an Exam in this subject is silly. Even if I pick a standard test I can't stop myself from playing favorites. Which is why I am giving grades based on how much I like my students and how much they entertain me. Now I don't dislike you, but I don't like you either. Would you like a grade based on how much you entrained me or would you like to try and read your tea cup now that you are frustrated and angry?"

With an undignified yell of outrage Malfoy threw his tea cup and it shattered against the wall. This cut through his outrage fairly quickly because it was most un-Malfoyish thing he had ever done since he was two.

Harry blinked.

"Congratulations on receiving extra credit! I was going to give you an A, but that bumped the entrainment value of this up to an E. I don't suppose you would like to sing or dance and move this up to an O?"

Face now very pink, Abraxas fled the room and his Professor passing a very curious Tom in the hall just outside the classroom.

Harry stuck his head out the door.

"Ah Tom, the exact time I told you to be here. Amazing how much I can 'see' when I'm the one that makes the test and dismisses the students. Come in and ignore the broken cup on the floor. I'm afraid we shall never interpret those tea leaves, at least not properly."

For several moments Tom stared at his Professor. When it appeared the Professor had absolutely no intention to clarify anything, Tom entered the classroom only giving the smallest of glances to the destroyed tea cup.


	7. Tom vs Harry

Hello everyone! This chapter took me longer because I had school work to do.

It's not as funny as the other chapters, but does show some character development.

Let's take a look at how the poll is doing so far shall we.

We have 13 voters so far who are all allowed to pick up to three people.

The question is "If I was to bring in a character from Harry's time who should I pick?"

These are the scores so far if you haven't voted yet, then please go to my Profile to do so.

I hope Luna wins, but even if she doesn't I can have fun with all of these characters. There's a good chance if Umbitch somehow won she would die a painful death and this story would become more morbid.

Luna **8**

Gred and Forge **5**

Snape **4**

Hermione **4**

Voldemort **3**

Draco **1**

Dumbledore **1**

Bellatrix **1**

Aunt Petunia **1**

Fudge **1**

Colin Creevy **0**

Ron **0**

Mrs. Weasley **0**

Umbitch **0**

Tom vs. Harry

Entertainment Value

Okay so he grades people on how much he likes them and their entertainment value, so what? There were worse ways to grade someone, like based on how much you liked their father for example; *cough* Snape *cough*. At least Harry was basing his grades on only who his students were, well for most of them anyways. Tom Riddle was a bit of an exception, for one thing he had actually met him in person in the future; while he was trying to kill him, might he add. Tom was a murderer, an indirect one at the moment for although Myrtle is dead, it was the giant snake that had killed her and Tom might not have even been there at the time. Of course he is planning to murder his father as soon as he could, but Harry should be able to delay that for awhile longer.

Now this wasn't talking about 50 years in the future, but now and the very soon future not to mention the biggest question was, should this affect the boy's Divination grade? What? Did you expected something else? Well after much research, the only thing Harry had found was the Butterfly Affect so either he would be changing things just by being here or there was nothing he could do anyways.

The field trip could be a test. If he was able to delay Tom murdering his father in cold blood, maybe he could change things, if he felt like it. Harry could honestly say that there was no one other than he can deserved a vacation from saving the world more so, than himself. So his biggest problem was how to grade someone he would have really liked if he wasn't a murderer that would one day kill his not yet born parents?

Normally he would fall back to entertainment, but Tom was too Slytherin to fall for most of Harry's tricks and Harry didn't want Tom to dislike him. Finding out his teacher putting him through something ridiculous act just for the teacher's entertainment, would be very off putting for Tom, but if he did it just so…

Tom's point of view

It was not every day you saw a Malfoy running away from something, well at least not something that wouldn't/couldn't/didn't threatened his perfect hair. This had only made him more curious at the fact that Malfoy was either running away from their Divination Professor, something in his classroom, or from the classroom itself. None of these choices seemed to bode particularly well, however Tom was unsure in what and to whom it wouldn't bode well with.

Tom's teacher had been in a very good mood ever since he had announced his field trip, but then his spirits had seemed to lighten further when they had reached exams week. As the Professor invited Tom into the classroom he could see that the man was fairly giddy at the moment. Whatever had happened here, Tom took note of the broken tea cup, had thoroughly amused his Professor.

He was not completely surprised when his Professor vanished the two teapots on the desk and the teacups, and then summoned a pitcher of pumpkin juice. The man sat and got out cups.

"Pumpkin juice Tom?"

"Thank you Professor." Tom watched as the man poured the drink and drank only after his Professor. He didn't think the man would poison him, but you never know.

"Well Tom what should I test you in? How about you're lying skills"

With many over dramatic hand movements the Professor wandlessly summoned a crystal ball and had it float mystically above the table before he slowly directed it onto the table.

"Lying Professor? Surely you don't think I would ever need to do such a thing? I've always done rather well with the crystal ball." Tom spoke seemingly light hearted his words both joking with and threatening to his Professor. On the one hand of course he could not see anything and his professor knew that, so it was all a joke. On the other hand of course he had never lied so of course his Professor should not dare act as if he had.

His Professor chuckled and Tom could tell that he had in fact understood both the meanings of his words.

"Everyone lies Tom, otherwise there would be many predictions of fog and meeting their twin from all of my students." The Professor also spoke lightly, calmly with an air of friendliness around him.

"You don't see. I don't see. No one in your class sees anything in this worthless rock." His tone still friendly, but his eyes were now slightly narrowed. "Why did I give you the crystal ball Tom?"

Tom was quiet for a moment as he tried to understand the man that sat across from him.

"Because…any other test would be just as worthless wouldn't it? As you said before it is amazing how much you can see when you make the test." Tom spoke with dawning realization.

"If you are a seer that's sees as much as you appear to, then you already know every grade from every test. By picking the test you pick the grade. If you aren't a seer like you say you aren't then…" Harry grinned.

"Then what, Tom?"

"Then you would be playing a game. But of course you are a seer and you are still playing a game. You don't know all of the grades because you haven't bothered looking for all of them, but the fact that you could, means you can still chose whatever grade you please for everyone."

"What is my grade, my Professor?"

"First tell me what I am grading everyone on."

"If they can comprehend what you're doing in the first place and how much pleasure you get out of toying with them."

"What harsh words Tom. Me? Toy with someone? More of a cross between how much I like someone and their entertainment value. Abraxas was more amusing than I had originally thought he could ever be."

"What grade do you predict Tom?"

"An Outstanding of course."

Harry smiled gently. "Of course, but there is something I've been teaching, something I think I can test you on. We want you to earn that Outstanding after all."

Harry was mildly disappointed that Tom had refused to transfigure his clothes into that of a muggle fortune teller, but he did do a brilliant job of predicting Harry's morbid death. It was dramatic and evil sounding and Harry suspected that Tom quite liked the crystal ball. However Tom was mildly put off, by his Professor's parting words.  
>"Thank you for the lovely predictions Tom. That did help your entertainment value. I'll be seeing you this summer I expect. Don't forget to have your permission form signed. Goodbye now."<p>

Entertainment value indeed.


	8. Mellow

Hello People! I have deiced to make another poll, but mostly for the fun of it. I already know what I'm going to do as far a possible relationship between Tom and Harry, but I am curious about not only who wants Tom/Harry, but also how badly they want it and for the people that don't want that kind of relationship how much they don't want it. The poll should be up soon so check it out and vote on the other one two!

Mellow

Hogwarts is a bright happy sunny place. The students were soaking up the summer sun happy the exams were over. Tomorrow they would be on the train home. Some student would be dreading getting back home, more than you would think. Some students merely had the dread of informing loving parent that they had failed their classes. Some students just didn't like their family and some just liked their friends more than family. But of course there would always be neglected or abused students that had legit reasons to not want to leave. Seeing as Harry had once been that kind of child the fact that the teachers insisted being ignorant about such things pissed him off.

Now you must understand that Harry Potter had suffered in order to grasps some form of mellow. He was an angst anger teen in his youth and it had taken lots of meditation, violent stress relief, and an interesting plant of Neville's in order for Harry to find his inner mellow.

So far he had mostly been able to keep his mellow safe and well mellowed, however a headmaster attempting to convince him to disregard his plan to help students that could potentially have a horrible home life was harsh his mellow.

You don't want to harsh Harry Potters mellow. It started with their normal tea. Harry was often gained up on by the barmy old coots. If he didn't visit them in the headmasters office then one or both of them would visit him insisted.

So it was normal.

"Hello Dippet, Dumbledore, Pictures, and sorting hat."

"Now Harry my boy won't you call us by our first names? You have been teaching a few years by now."

"Quite right Albus, you really shouldn't hold a grudge like that Harry, just because we had you sign a magical contract to work here before we told you your wand wasn't broken-"

Harry decided to ignore this.

"Armando and Albus. Dippet and Dumbledore. Does it really matter? For what is really in a name anyway?"

Dumbledore twinkled and edged forward in his seat as the mad loved philosophy debates, but before Harry's very eyes the twinkle faded and Dumbledore looked rather disappointed. Harry noticed that Dippet seemed to be the reason for the fading twinkle as he was shooting Dumbledore a harsh look.

Harry raised an eyebrow. Dippet noticed and hurried to speak.

"I was just telling Albus about this field trip idea of yours, Harry."

So that's their game then. Dumbledore began looking cheerful again. Harry sensed meddling.

"Oh it wasn't my idea, it was your idea Sir! And what a marvelous idea it is."

Dippet looked disgruntled, but Dumbledore seemed even happier.

"Indeed it is a wonderful idea whichever one of you came up with it, however it's not really a field trip if it takes place during the summer now is it my boy?"

He actually looks like I'm suppose to agree with him.

"Of course it is! It's a trip and we will undoubtedly find ourselves in a field at some point. It's a summer field trip A.D."

"A field?"

"A.D.?"

"Of course a field and you don't expect me to call him all of his initials do you?"

"I suppose A. B. W. P. D. is a bit of a mouthful."

"Where else are you taking these students Professor Potter, besides a field?"

"I can't tell you that Headmaster! It's a secret."

"A secret you say?" Dumbledore looked intrigued.

"I'm afraid I can't let you go off with a bunch of children to a secret location Mr. Potter. It would reflect badly on the school if anything happened to them. This whole idea of a field trip at all sounds risky to me. I won't allow it if you can't give us more information Professor Potter." Dippet looked rather angry.

"Good because I'm not asking permission."

Dippet stuttered with outrage. Dumbledore spoke calmly.

"Now there's no reason to be unreasonable."

"I really only need the parents permission and I have it Headmaster. This has nothing to do with school so it doesn't fall under your jurisdiction."

"But perhaps it should be under the Headmaster's jurisdiction Harry. It would be safer for the students and more educational if we attempted Hogwarts first field trip during the school year. We could have several teachers watching the students that way and-"

"A wonderful idea Professor. I'll be happy to tell you about the more educational places I'll be taking my students this summer and you can decided if you should bring them into your plans."

"That not quite what I meant."

"Look there are students that beg to stay at Hogwarts in the summer for a reason. If you won't allow them that, then I shall offer an alternative for those students."

"So that's why you're doing this! I think you got the wrong impression when you heard me talking to Tom Riddle that day. The boy's home is adequate Harry we have checked."

Harry snorted.

"Your idea of adequate and mine are different Headmaster. If the boy's not being beaten to death you call that adequate?"

"That is not what I-"

"If any child does not feel safe and happy at their home then we should do something about it. If you two won't I will, and there's nothing either of you can do about it. Now I thought I was coming here for tea?"

"I hate that you have such a pessimist take on life my boy, if you can't be persuaded perhaps someone should come with you."

"The students will be with me of course."

"A teacher, perhaps-"

"No thank you."

"Myself. I've been-"

"Nope! I shall not change my plans to include-"

" wanting to go on a trip myself. I really think-"

"Interfering old men. That none of the Slythrines trust in the –"

"that I could bring a lot to this trip-"

" slightest and you being head of Gryffindor won't help-"

**"Be quite!"**

"If you want to have this trip at all Professor you will find another Adult to go with you. It would be improper to just have you go off somewhere with a bunch of students. What about Madam Brusly?"

"That women? She tried to give me love potions 3 times last Valentine's Day! I will be going alone. You can fire me if you like I really don't care I shall still go with my students and not anyone else."

Considering what they did to force him to work here the very idea that they would fire him was laughable.

In the headmaster's office where the three men were arguing the pictures watched and listened with keen interest. One such picture slowly slid out of her frame to visit a friend of hers. A friend who's frame was hung in the dungeons, not far from the Slythrine common room.

It was years ago when Tom befriend a girl with an unfortunate face who often watched the Slythrine students head toward the common room. At first he thought she might just be useful in telling him who was coming and going from the common at certain times, but he soon learned that her real picture was in the Headmasters office. This made her information invaluable.

Of course she could not discuss the Headmasters secrets, as long as she knew that they were secret.

"Hey Tom. That picture that has a crush on you wants to talk to you again. Only this time she says it's important." The stupid and unimportant Slythrine laughed at this. Tom raised an eyebrow and left to see what Cynthia wanted. No one said anything when the boy that had laughed at Tom found his hair falling out and boils covering his face. Of course Tom was already out of the room before fingers could have been pointed. Not that anyone wanted to lose their fingers so badly that they would have pointed them at Tom in the first place.


	9. Is it love or indigestion?

Hello! I named the chapter in honor of the poll I have up asking about Tom and Harry's relationship. For those that want to know I have had 15 people vote on this so far and here's what they think.

Yes. I think they are a good paring and that it will bring more depth to the story. **4**

Yes, but just a fluffy romance. Tom is underage and we don't want a porn fic. Fluff,fluff,fluff **4**

No. There are so few stories about the two were Harry and Tom aren't in a relationship so please don't make this a romance. **2**

No, not because I don't like Tom/Harry, but because this is a humor and I don't want romance to be the focus. **2**

Yes! They are hot and smexy and I want to see some action! **1**

No, but if its not porn and doesn't take over the story I'll still read it **1**

I don't care **1**

I am pleased no one is so far close minded enough to pick No! This is the worst pairing in the world and I shall stop reading this story if it becomes Harry/Tom! Mostly because I don't care for close mindedness.

I can't seem to have two polls up at the same time so I shall switch it every few days. Tomorrow I we change it to my other one. Tonight it's the relationship one.

One last thing! We will get to the trip at some point! First day of summer starts next chapter so we are making progress!

And I love you all so please review!

Is it love or indigestion?

"Thank you for your information Cynthia. You are truly a treasure."

"Oh Tom…" The painting giggled, but Tom paid her no mind as he needed to be alone. He was brainstorming on different places to be, somewhere to think, and where he wouldn't be bothered. He didn't dare head toward the Chamber of Secrets after everything that had happened earlier that year and he would get no peace in the common room or the dorm at this hour of the day. He made his way to an unused classroom and threw up some wards that most of the 7th years had never heard of.

Now he was alone, now he could think on the informative picture's words.

A little while ago.

"Hello Cynthia, I believe you requested my presence?" She didn't hear the danger in his voice that said he was not pleased at the way he had been made aware of her need to see him. Of course she didn't, having neither looks nor brains she must have had a pitiful bloodline.

"Oh do I have something for you Tom! Professor Potter, Professor Dumbledore, and the Headmaster had a tea party today! Only they didn't get to drink any today, they were having a dispute." The picture pitched her voice low and secretive, yet at the same time far too giggly in the way most females didn't when they were importing gossip. It was horribly annoying, but her information was normally worth it.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me what it was about?" He asked archly and almost flirty. Salazar he hated sweet talking paintings, but threats didn't work nearly as well on something that couldn't feel pain. More giggling came from the painting.

"They were arguing about Professor Potter's trip!"

Oh…well that was disappointing. Faced with both the Headmaster and the Transfiguration's teacher the Divination's teacher would have no doubt given them whatever they wanted. He hoped they wouldn't cancel the trip, but at the very least it would most likely be cut shorter. If Dumbledore decided to come along then there was a good chance Tom wouldn't go at all.

"I see and what did they decide to do about the trip?"

"You should have seen Professor Potter's face Tom, you really-"

"I'm sorry Cynthia I don't have a lot of time right now, homework. Could you just tell me what they are changing about the trip?"

His patience was rapidly dropping and he began to regret not giving that boy more of a suitable punishment, after all he had left him off far too easy. Perhaps he could lose a few limbs here and/or the-

"Nothing! Nothing at all Tom! That's what I wanted to tell you! Professor Potter let them both have it! There's nothing they can do to stop the trip and Potter refuses to back down on anything! You should have seen the Headmaster Tom. He was so angry, but the seer wouldn't give him anything at all!" The painting crowed in delight, watching Tom's face carefully and being rewarded with the smallest of hints of shock and then pleasure on the boy's face.

Suddenly homework, and revenge for that matter, wasn't quite so important. No one stood up against Dumbledore .With him and the Headmaster trying to force Potter to not do something, well it seemed his Divination's Professor had an iron will.

Tom must have stayed and interrogated the picture for at least an hour, making sure to get all of the details, before he left for a place to think.

Tom found himself going though glee, shock, awe, suspicion, doubt, and more awe. After all it wasn't everyday that someone had stood up for him and most of all against Dumbledore and that fool of a Headmaster, Dippet.

Starting with glee that someone had finally told the old coots no. Dumbledore finally didn't get everything his way. Dippet was finally forced to pull his head out of his arse. Most of all there was the fact that Tom would get to leave that awful muggle hell for almost the whole summer.

He hadn't let himself fully enjoy the possibility of leaving the orphanage after only a week of suffering. He had hoped of course, but anytime he had come up with a plan to avoid the orphanage it had fallen apart. He suspected Dumbledore's meddling. He knew for a fact at least one of those times, the old coot had been meddling around in his business. It still made him tremble in rage with just the thought of it. He had actually talked Slughorn into taking him as his apprentice last summer, but Dumbledore had talked Slughorn out of it. An entire year of sucking up to Slughorn wasted. Horace had claimed that Tom was his favorite student, but he wouldn't go against Dumbledore, not for Tom at least.

This had lead to the other two emotions, shock and awe. His strange, poorly connected, seemingly perfectly average in abilities Divination's Professor had done what Horace never had. He went against Dumbledore and Dippet and had actually won. Without knowing anything else, not the why he was doing this or how he did it, it was still shocking and awe inspiring.

When the conversation had turned towards him, Tom was insistently suspicious. Was the Professor using him as an excuse for his trip? But Potter hadn't been the one to bring him into the conversation, that the reason why he was in the conversation in the first place was because of Dippet.

Professors Potter's words didn't make any sense to the assumptions he had already made about the man's reasons for the trip, yet there was no reason for him to lie either. Potter was not making compromises so there was no reason for him to give a reason like that for his actions. Instead it sounded like he had scolded the other two that he had been angry at their ignorance of what could be happening to the students.

All the teachers pretended to care, but if they actually did, Tom had always believed they would do something about students like him. Students that dreaded leaving Hogwarts at all and made no secret of it. Even if they had to bend a few rules and go around a disapproving old man, it should be well worth it if any of them gave a knut about them.

So did Potter actually care then, about the students…about Tom? It was doubtful. No one else had, so there must be other motives. And yet it had seemed, almost as if when he had been talking to the Headmaster that day…as if Potter had come up with the idea right then.

_"You really should let the children stay here that want to, Headmaster. You do them a great disservice."_

_"I could take some children with me on my trip. This school doesn't have enough field trips at all."_

_"I'll start making some permission forms up! Thank you for the idea Headmaster."_

'A great disservice.' 'Thank you for the idea Headmaster.'

So it had been because of him? Because he had been begging Dippet for him to not leave this summer, that had given him the idea. Professor Potter always seemed to know more about him than most. He didn't fall for his tricks like the other professors. He was a seer so of course he would know more than most. Had he seen something about Tom's future? Did he know what Tom had planned? Was that what made him care, or was it something more?

It was an odd feeling. The idea that anyone could care for him at all made him feel off. It shook some of his absolute core truths of the world. He admitted he admired the man just for the fact that he wasn't as much of an idiot as most of the sheep he had to see on a regular bases. Could he…no. He had never cared for anyone other than himself, he didn't think he was able to at this point, but if that was the real reason for this trip and if Potter did care enough to fight for him unprompted even on something so small then maybe he could respect him. He had never honestly had a reason to give someone his respect before. He had almost given it to Slughorn, but he had failed him. Perhaps Professor Potter was more worth his respect. He would have to wait and see if he could confirm the man's motives.

Until then he'll wait until he can finally pass his judgment on the man. Returning to his common room he turned his thoughts to which of his followers he most wanted to accompany him on the trip that was almost granted to be interesting.


	10. Summer!

Summer!

Summer! The day of freedom for students and teachers alike! Except this summer Harry was taking his students with him on his vacation, so all the other teachers agreed that he really is crazy.

"Oh the peace, the quite, the boringness…" Harry said to himself in his peaceful, quite, and boring classroom, but never fear, for Harry had things to do, places to be, and parents to coddle/beg/scold/threaten, whatever needed to be done so his chosen favorites could come on the greatest trip in the world!

Before Harry left for his first stop, he decided to think of yesterday or rather last night when he boldly *cough* rudely *cough* interrupt the Headmaster at the feast and made a few epic statements.

Flashback!

"And so without further ado I believe that's-"

"Not at all Headmaster! That's not everything. I have something to say if you wouldn't mind?"

Dippet had been droning on and on about nothing at all, but now that the seer was speaking the students would listen out of curiosity, or at least to check out how red the Headmaster's face was turning. Potter stood up and grinned at the sea of children.

"You don't mind then, excellent!"

"I-"

Harry clapped his hands grandly together in excitement.

"Everyone knows about the Field Trip coming up don't you? I've only been shouting about it from the top of the astronomy tower for weeks! Some of you have already turned in your permission forms I will be sending you my Floo address sometime tomorrow, if you can't use a the floo please send me a letter and I shall come pick you up. If you do-"

"Professor Potter I don't believe this is really the time-" Dippet wasn't too happy about this, but he shouldn't have pissed Harry off the other day.

"I am speaking!"

"Thank you, now if you do not have your forms signed yet then you may mail them to me along with either giving me your address or asking for my Floo address. If you're really, really want to go and your whoever you live with says no then drop me an owl and I'll try and drop by to convince them I've seen something awesome happening if you go and something dreadful happening if you don't."

"Professor Potter!"

"Headmaster! How can I finish my speech if you're going to interrupt me?"

"Now, I make no promises I can convince your parents, but I shall try. If you aren't in my Divination's class, but you think my trip which you're never heard of before sounds a lot more awesome than whatever you were going to do this summer then come by my office before curfew tonight or tomorrow before the train leaves and I'll be happy to talk to you about it."

"Now I believe that is that all. Please turn your attention to the wonderful foods the house elves have cooked and have a great summer!"

Ending Flashback

Oh that had been fun. The itching powder in Dumbledore's ropes would be funnier when he got around to implanting that bit of revenge. Turning his direction of thought to other things, he took out his list.

What list you ask? The List of course. The list of all the children that would be coming with him…er…except for the ones he would forget to pick up because he didn't like them.

No way in hell was Lestrange coming on his trip after what he had said. Harry vaguely thought about sending him a letter informing him he was not awesome enough or that Harry had foreseen his death from flying boogies if he joined them, but that wouldn't be appropriate.

There was Tom of course on the list. No matter he hadn't been able to send in a permission form as Tom needed to be there in person to force whoever it was to sign his copy, or at least he hasn't have been able to do so yet, but that really didn't matter because Harry would just have to kidnap Tom if he wasn't allowed to go. Harry smiled thinking back to when he had been kidnapped from his relatives by his best friend and his brothers in a flying car. Harry wished he knew where to get a flying car.

Harry would have to give Tom some minions, so perhaps Alphard because Sirius had liked Alphard, and Alphard wouldn't always be a minion. Or at least Harry was fairly certain he wasn't ever a Death Eater to begin with. Malfoy was very much a minion, but he was also entertaining so he could go.

Hmm…Alexander Carrow, Orion Black, that other Black guy that would be the father of Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa. They all seemed to be closest to Tom at the moment. Hmm…decisions…decisions.

Of course they wouldn't all be slythrines that Tom liked, Fudge was fun to torment- he meant have around. He also believed he might have found Luna's grandfather a Mr. Atlas Lovegood in Ravenclaw 6th year going on 7th. He had also discovered Snape's mother by completely accident one day by bumping into her in the halls. She was 4th year that has never taken his class, but he had made sure to invite her anyway so she might go. In short if Harry recognized someone or that person's future children he invited them.

It made everything more fun if he knew the people. Sort of knew them, that is.

Harry was just adding a finishing doodle to the side of the list when two owls arrived. A plain barn owl and an elegant eagle owl both clutching letters.

One letter asked Harry to politely fuck off and informed him that not everyone was stupid enough to think those forms meant anything. The other asked him to come for dinner so that the parents could see for themselves that Harry wasn't evil and if he wasn't, then the parents would sign the form.

So wonder who those are from?


	11. Plotting

Hi everyone! Let me know what you think about the characters and if they in character. Thank you for the reviews!

Plotting

_Lemon drops! Lemon drops! Oh Lemony Lemon Drops!_

_Lemon dr_- "Albus!"

Dumbledore blinked and stared at the luscious lemon drop that he had been about to pop into his mouth.

_I am fairly certain my lemon drops cannot speak. However our Divination Professor has been known to use some unusual charms when he is unhappy._

"Albus! We cannot allow this!" Said a frustrated Headmaster, who had just barged into the room.

_Oh thank goodness! It's just him._

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled up at Dippet and gestured for him to take a sit.

_All is well in lemon drop land._

"It's not safe for the children to just go off somewhere 'bloody secret' with one man. I know you trust him Albus, but-"

_Ah I wondered when he would bring this up._

"Calm yourself Armando. I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for the children who's parents decided to sign the form."

_Indeed our seer is rather clever. It was still a Gryffindor move however, not very well thought out._

"But Albus-"

Dumbledore raised a hand for silence.

"Now Headmaster all is not lost, I'm sure we can persuade some of the parents…or guardians that is not to sign these forms."

_Yes it wouldn't do to have Tom Riddle all, but unsupervised this summer to who knows where. He's a very powerful boy and under the wrong influences he could go down the wrong path. The more time he spends around muggles and away from outside influences the better, really._

"So you do have a plan then? You had me worried for a moment Albus."

_Of course he had a plan!_

"My dear Dippet when have I never had a plan?"

_A plan for the Greater Good._

In a crappy poor orphanage

Tom was unusually happy on the first official day of summer break. So far he hadn't been bothered by anyone. He had managed to acquire adequate reading material for once thanks to his minions with large libraries at home. And of course the fact that he would be leaving this place in only a week had something to do with his raised spirits as well.

He had yet to approach Ms. Cole with his permission form. After all, he needs time to adjust himself to this environment so he was less likely to lose control of his contempt for the woman and harm her to the point that she wasn't able to sign anything or function at all for that matter. Besides it was only the first day and he had an unexpected confidence in Harry Potter. This time it really felt like nothing would go wrong.

Mind you he wasn't a Hufflepuff so if something did go wrong…there would be suffering. Sweet painful suffering.

Meanwhile with Harry Potter.

Weasley, Malfoy.

Ferret, Weasel.

Pureblood and pureblood.

Rich and poor.

Yet they both send owls knocking at my…window.

That does not rhyme.

Hmmm…

Door rhymes, but they didn't come through the door, in that matter they didn't even knock either. Oh, the owls want answers don't they?

Harry stared blankly at the owls before drawing up a quick agreement for dinner the next day at the Weasleys and then another one for lunch at the Malfoy's the same day. Of course the Malfoy's didn't invite Harry for lunch, but it was best to inform them he would be there none the less. Otherwise he would be both an uninvited and unexpected guest and that just wouldn't do.

That done he decided to recheck his supplies and make sure he had everything. Luckily he had found a place to get a bottomless bag. It was also out of sheer luck that he had found a book last year (when he was devouring the Hogwarts library) about how expensive snake skin is. No Tom would have noticed if Harry had killed his giant snake so Harry had simply nipped down to the secret chamber in his cloak and collected some sheded skin.

A good thing too because otherwise he would never have been able to buy all the emergency supplies he felt the need to pack. Hey, Harry had gone camping unprepared before and let me tell you it sucked.

A large amount of food, blankets, books, brooms, bandages, potions, rope, clothes, money, candy, and many other things one fake seer and anywhere from a dozen to 20 students could possibly need during this awesome *cough* dangerous *cough* trip. Going through his supplies again Harry decided to take some crystal balls and his umbrella just in case.

Now that he thought about it, there was one other thing technically two, but at the moment there was one thing that he would like to take with him.

How long had it been since the sorting hat had had a vacation? What? He could pull a sword out of it, it was far from useless. Also the hat gave some fairly good advice at times.

Yes indeed, there was nothing like stealing rare magical objects to relive his boredom. As Harry sat down to do some plotting he felt a slight shudder. Hmmm, his meddling senses were tingling.

What was the old man up too? Perhaps some spying was in order?

Knock! Knock!

Knocking. Was it Dumbles? The Headmaster? The dreaded Madam Brusly? Merlin forbid!

This was where being a real seer would be useful.

"Hello!" Harry yelled though the door his wand in his hand ready to vanquish the evil Madam Brusly.

"Oho! Harry lad! Do you have a moment?"

Oh it's Slughorn!

"Come-neither fowl healers or old men with sweets are with you, are they?"

"Nope, I'm quite alone good chap. Are you able to answer the door or shall I let myself in?"

With a wave of his wand the door flew open and in walked the potions master, far younger then he was in Harry's own time Slughorn was still just as jolly. Well actually more so as he hadn't told the most evil man in the world how to become immortal yet.

"What can I do for you Horace? Want some tea leaves read or shall I simply tell you that you've picked out an impressive bunch of students yet again?"

Strange as it was Harry kind of liked Slughorn. He was sneaky, but his greatest ambition was to benefit from children achieving greatness. There were far worse things to have ambition about and he was far more open about his meddling than Dumbledore. Most likely because Slughorn's meddling was actually for the students own good instead of the greater good.

"Oho! Have I now?" Slughorn preened.

"But that wasn't what I came to talk to you about at all! That little speech of yours caught me by surprise last night. Why in the world didn't you say anything my lad? I think it's a wonderful idea and as I know you know I do know some important people Harry!"

"Indeed you do Horace, but I fail to see where you're going with this?"

"Well I'm not sure where you're going, but I suspect you might be taking your students on a little world trip, hmm? What I'm saying is if you need me to put in a word or two with someone I'd be happy to do so. I have a niece in America you know working with plants and potions in some experiences I believe. I also know a lovely woman who moved to Greece recently she works with the-"

Harry nodded and smiled and droned part of what Slughorn has been speaking about. Horace was always trying to set him up with some young woman or another it was fairly annoying however, Horace was also valuable and believed sucking up to a seer was a good idea. He was also, if Harry remembered correctly, rather fond of Tom. Now there was a thought…

"You know Horace I wanted to tell you about my trip however I didn't want word to get around too soon. You see it's not just for fun I'm doing this and I'm afraid Albus and the Headmaster doesn't care much for the idea…"

"Oho?"

"You see Horace what happened was…"

Slughorn was not the only one that could gather allies and right now Harry could use an ally to help him overcome the meddling of two certain old men. The potions master would be very useful and very willing to be useful if things were worded out just so. Besides Harry had never liked two against one odds.


	12. Slugs,Seers, and somthings

Slugs, seers, and something's

Sorry it took so my fans! I was having a bit of a brain fart and it took awhile to get the chapter right. Let me know what you think of Slughorn and what part of the story do you like the most so far. Harry's POV, Tom's POV, Dumb's or Slugs? Also what are you looking forward to most besides the field trip? Give me some feedback people! I love you!

Slughorn loves his job. He got to make potions and the school paid for the ingredients. He got a lovely living space that he didn't have to pay rent for. What he loved most of all was interacting with his students. It wasn't just teaching, for Slughorn it was affecting a child's life for years to come.

Another thing he enjoyed was being around his co workers. Rarely had Slughorn met a fellow teacher at Hogwarts and not liked them. He was very fond of most of them; especially Dumbledore for he had a wonderful personality, although he was also in slight awe of his powers and often disappointed with the man, because really he could have been rather far up in the Ministry by now, if he had any ambitions at all.

For all that he liked Albus; they had had several disagreements in the past. Dumbledore's lack of ambition for one and Horace's favoritism over the better students. Slughorn of course knew his favoritism did a lot of good and refused to ever stop. Not only did he enjoy it, but including other houses and even some muggleborns in his favorites had the Slythrine's reputation at an all time high.

Of course Tom might have had something to do with this also. He was a very well liked young man, and his housemates would follow his lead.

Oh Tom, it was so clear now that he had wronged the boy. Allowed his respect for that man to overcome his good intentions towards the lad. He had allowed another's opinion to make him ignore his gut feelings. As the dear prophet had warned Slughorn once before not staying true to himself had lead to a great folly on his part.

There was no doubt in Slughorn's mind that Harry Potter was a great prophet not just a common seer, no! For Harry had shown Slughorn a memory of his visions. He had shown Slughorn the paths that Tom Riddle could take. In a way only the truest and most powerful of seers could Harry Potter had shown Horace Slughorn the right path.

Which was why Slughorn had charmed the pictures in the Headmasters office to sleep and was trying to talk a hat into guiding the hallowed seer on his journey. Despite the fact that the future of the world might depend on this great deed….the hat was having none of it.

With a smug hallowed seer.

Sometimes Harry thought being mistaken for a seer was the best thing that ever happened to him. It had been easy to charm Slughorn the first time they had met. "I see crystallized pineapple in your future and one day your words to one of your students will change the world!"

Everyone loved predictions; where good things happened to them or they seemed important. Of course it wouldn't be realistic to completely avoid doom and gloom.

"Not staying true to yourself will someday lead you to a great folly, but after your great folly someone will send you some mead to make you feel better about yourself. Your students really like to suck up to you don't they?"

Of course Harry had sent mead after over hearing a discussion between Slug and Dumb. Yes it was so easy to make predictions come true.

It was especially easy to direct Slughorn after all, the man asked for a reading of some sort every few months and Harry hadn't been wrong yet.

However if Harry did say so himself today had been one of his greatest, most awesome, and of course completely authentic performances ever! The things you could do with sticking memories from the future together and practicing your oracle voice.

"Ah! Another owl. Who might you be from? Hmm. Well this won't do at all. Nope I'll simply have to drop by ahead of schedule then. A pity they didn't take kindly to being invited to lunch in their own home. No matter."

"To the Malfoy's!"

He grasped his bag of floo powder and turned to the fireplace.

"I suppose I should have a plan of some sort…Nah I work better winging it anyway."

At the crappy orphanage.

"Mrs. Cole. A pleasure to see you again."

She blinked at his flamboyant apparel. It was orange and sparkling.

"Ah your that Dumbly, Dumblesdore fellow. What's all this about?"

"Well miss, it's about Mr. Riddle."


	13. Malfoy Manners or lack there of

You know my loyal fans this is truly my favorite story I've ever written. I like it even more then my Twilight parody that has over 100 reviews. Of course that is twilight(even if I'm making fun of it) and this is Harry Potter so obviously this is more awesome. However I'm bringing my Twilight story to your attention because It has 14 chapters and 103 reviews, this story has 12 chapters and 84 reviews. I got 10 reviews for the last chapter meaning if I can get another 10 for this chapter and my next one we shall beat the number of reviews for my twilight story!

Come on people! Prove that HP is better then sparkly vampires! Prove that this story is much better then my other one so I don't feel guilty updating this one instead of the other one. Review! Because if that doesn't inspire you to review what will?

Malfoy Manners or lack there of.

Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy were Draco's great grand parents, Lucius's grand parents, and Abraxas's parents incase anyone was confused as to which Malfoy's Harry was confronting at he moment. They seemed to be nice well mannered folk when they weren't throwing curses at trespassers. Of course this was not Harry's fault because if they had invited him in he would not have had to force his way in.

Harry inferred as he dodged a yellow spell, followed by a flying vase that crashed to the floor. Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy seemed to believe he had a nefarious purpose in mind for their son, due to his questionable permission form. Really just because he wanted permission to bring their child anywhere without telling anyone where that was and then not wanting to be responsible if something harmful were to happen, did not mean they needed to overreact so much.

Well putting it like that he supposed he would see where their worries were coming from. Sorta.

Now you might be wondering how he was going to not only get out of this, but do so with permission to take their son on the trip of a lifetime. The answer my friends involved Harry's ability to talk while in life threatening situations and the fact that he knew of a certain secret drawing room that has housed the illegal stuff of the Malfoy's for centuries, had something to do with it.

"And if he should not come away with me this summer then the groundhog shall see his shadow and then the secrets of the drawing room shall be revealed to all…" He should get an Order of Merlin for his oracle voice alone, really.

Mrs. Malfoy was a sensible woman and didn't believe in seer nonsense; she told him so and began to cast a bone breaking hex. This made Harry very happy because anytime he met someone that wasn't that gullible and wasn't stupid as a troll was truly a good day. However, Mr. Malfoy seemed to think that seer stuff had some merit when it involved his secret stash of dark objects and muggle comics, or whatever it was he had in there, and therefore intervened.

In the end the Malfoy's gave Harry their only child, instructions on never to enter house again, and knowledge. Mr. Malfoy gave him the knowledge, that if anything happened or any secrets about the drawing room were to ever get out into the public, that they would find a way to destroy him. On the other hand Mrs. Malfoy gave him the knowledge that if anything happened to her son, she had a wand and she knew how to use castration hexes.

And so Harry ended up with one student 7 days ahead of schedule. Meaning he had not even gotten one day of summer freedom. This pleased him immensely especially seeing the expression on his charge's face.

"Well, that was fun! You're a bit early, but no matter. You can help me prepare!" Harry grinned evilly. Abraxas looked rather put out and then rather unnerved as Harry began to chuckle evilly as well. Harry had just realized that if he really wanted to be evil he could take the Ferret into the weasel den with him tomorrow. Muwhahaha!

Now we turn our attention to an orange sparkly man walking out of a crappy orphanage.

As the eccentric man was leaving he thought to himself that all was going according to plan, and that while Tom may be unhappy this was for the greater good of everyone involved. He also thought that he would eat a celebration lemon drop.

_Lemon drop, Lemon drop, oh Lemony lemon drops! Lemon drop!_

Of course being orange and sparkly was a sure fine way to be noticed by future Dark Lords.

Tom watched as the bright menace walk away from behind the old creaking gates, behind his crappy window and his eyes flashed red.

With the seer that had taken Abraxas tent shopping.

"You know…" 'Harry paused as he picked up a mustard colored tent.

"My doom senses are tingling." Considering this had come only a little while after his meddling senses early that day, it was a cause for concern.

Abraxas who had been looking miserable raised his eyebrows and drawled very scornfully.

"Doom?"

"Doom." Harry repeated with finality.

"Doom, doom do do doom." He muttered a few words of the doom song as he felt the situation called for it. He ignored the Malfoy looking at him with increasing hatred.

"What say you, we gather a classmate or two of yours early? You'll be horribly bored if I'm the only one you have to talk to for 7 days." It didn't take a seer to know that meddling + doom = bad things. He would feel much more confident if Tom was with already with him, even if being in the castle would make him closer to Dumbledore.


	14. Preventing Doom

Hello everyone! It seems you are rising to the challenge to give me more reviews for this fic then any other fic of mine! Especially the Twilight one.

I do believe this shall be the chapter I receive over 100 reviews for this fic. Now I would like to do something special for my 100th reviewer. If you are my 100th reviewer you may request something of me. Please make sure you log in if you are my 100th reviewer so I can see you a PM about what you may ask me for.

For all my other reviewers you may also request I do certain things and I may try you suggestions also. I'm thinking of making an outtakes fic with this story so I can do some request without changing my plot. What does everyone think of that?

Preventing Doom.

With Tom

Anger, hatred, rage, pissed off, unhappy and there might have even been the smallest amount of hurt and sadness, but Tom Riddle was most consumed by fury. The kind of fury that made his eyes turn red and gave him the urge to hear someone scream in pain.

Dumbledore was out of his reach at the moment so he tired to remember that he would be thrown in prison if he killed Ms. Cole, but if was very hard to remember that when his magic was close to the surface and muggles were so fragile. It wouldn't be that suspicious if she fell down the stairs and broke her neck, would it? Yes it would. Not to anyone else, but Dumbledore would try to put the blame on him even if she really did die without his help.

Logic. Cool, cold logic. The different between Slythrines and Gryffindors. It would not do to lose control. When he was calmer, he could inflict torture on the pathetic muggles he lived with. If he wasn't in control while he did so, he would kill them. Breath, calm, cold anger, not red hot Gryffindor rage. He was slowly pulling himself together…

"Hi Tom!"

And then his Divination Professor stuck his head though his three story high window.

With Harry

After much deliberation Harry decided Abraxas should not join him in the Tom rescuing. You see Tom lived in a shitty orphanage with crappy windows and Malfoy lived in a wealthy manor with snobby peacocks. Tom may not like his minion seeing his living arrangements. Either Abraxas would think less of Tom or worse, but not likely to pity Tom and then Tom would have to hurt the boy until such thought left his head.

It was better for everyone that Harry go alone.

Now window or door? Legal or illegal? Fun or more fun?

Oh who was he kidding? He would do both of course. Starting with the window. He cast the needed notice me not charms and then flew up his broom to find the right window. He noted that the window wouldn't be big enough to fit a person out of anyway, so it was a good thing he had been planning to use the door as well.

Vashioning the small crappy glass in his day he watched Tom for a moment, seeing his eyes q scary bright red he knew his doom senses were spot on.

"Hi Tom!" He said casually, as if he did this all the time.

Tom Riddle froze, turned and started at him. After a moment it appeared, Harry had shocked the red out of his eyes or at least most of it, it didn't look like the burning pits of hell at the moment, anyway.

Tom Riddle blinked and Harry waved at him.

"Hello Professor…" He said at last looking as if he's not sure if he even should question why his professor is outside his window. However with Harry choosing not to say anything else he sort of had too.

"Do you normally just show up outside your student's bedroom windows?" He sounded snappy, but it was understandable, after all not only had he been angry a few moments ago, but Harry had given him a bit of a shock.

"No, not usually. You see I was tent shopping with Abraxas-"

Tom blinked at him with the most interesting expression. Harry of course ignored this.

"- and I felt a deep sense of Doom. Why was I sensing Doom Tom?"

Harry waited expectantly.

Tom raised an eyebrow.

Harry gave in first, pleased that the last of the red had completely fading from his eyes.

"Because there was a disturbance in the force Tom." Harry explained patiently, enjoying himself.

"Of course." Tom said with an air of mocking his Professor.

"Glad you agree. Pack your things and meet me down downstairs won't you? I'll just be a moment."

Then he replaced the glass and flew back down to earth. Then he waved his wand turning his clothes into his proper muggle fortune teller attire and walked into the orphanage in the front door where he encountered a woman.

"Ms. Cole, a pleasure."

"Hello…How did you get in here?"

"The front door of course, it was unlocked."

"Oh bother, I thought I locked it. Well what's your business here?"

"Madam I am a seer, a medium, a fortune teller if you will. I have seen many horrible things…"

"I don't want any of your nonsense here!"

"You are aware of a strange child, yes? A Mr. Tom Riddle… He is different from the others and you have made a choice recently. A choice which shall bring about your downfall if not corrected..."

The words chilled the woman for a creepy voice and a smidgen of truth can do that to some people.

"Let me gaze into my crystal ball and I shall show you…show you the path you have set…"

Dun, dun, dun he whispered to himself silently as he prepared his performance.

With Abraxas

"Stay at Hogwarts, he says. Go find Slughorn, he says. Help him with his hat problem, he says. Of all the cracked, ridiculous things…"

Abraxas knocked on Slughorn's office door, he could hear voices inside.

"Oho! One moment!" There was loud banging inside and then Professor Slughorn stuck his head out of the door, blocking the room with his body.

"Oho! Mr. Malfoy, what are you still doing here, my lad?"

"My parents sent me with Professor Potter early." Replied Abraxas sourly.

"He has business elsewhere and asked me to go see you. Apparently you have a hat problem I'm to help with?" Abraxas really hoping that there was no such problem; he had already been shopping with one professor, he didn't need to go into a hat shop with another one.

"Ah! He really does know everything doesn't he? Well come in lad! Maybe you can talk some sense into it."

Talk sense into it?

To say Abraxas was surprised to see the sorting hat on the Professor's desk was an understatement.


	15. Sour Revenge Planning

Sour Revenge Planning

Tom had anger issues, but had been working on his control. It would not do for him to lose control at school or anywhere else while he still had the trace on him, after all. He had thought he knew the best way to handle those feelings of rage, but apparently calm breathing and plans of revenge were nothing compared to seeing his Divination's Professor outside his window. There weren't a lot of things that could shock him; however it seemed his Divination teacher was one of those things that could.

"No, not usually. You see I was tent shopping with Abraxas-"

Tent shopping? Abraxas? What? And of course he's perfectly causal as if this is perfectly normal.

"- and I felt a deep sense of Doom. Why was I sensing Doom Tom?"

Doom… Really Doom? He wasn't answering that, although he did find himself mindlessly mocking and ignoring the out of place Professor's next words. What was he doing here? One thing for Dumbledore to just show up, he was a meddling old fool after all, but how or rather why was Potter here?

"Glad you agree. Pack your things and meet me down downstairs won't you? I'll just be a moment."

Tom blinked as his Professor's head disappeared and was replaced by the glass he had removed,

He found himself walking to the window and looking down to watch his Professor's descend on his broom to the ground. A lesser man would be checking to see if that had really happened and they had not imagined the encounter. Of course Tom was a lot better then that, so it was obviously a completely different reason. He contemplated what the reason was for a moment before deciding to ignore it for a better question.

Was his Professor really just going to take Tom away with him? It certainly sounded like it. Why else would he need to pack after all? But it was far too early for the trip, he hadn't send in his form, and Ms. Cole would never sign it now that- oh. The realization hit him suddenly. Had Potter heard or seen what Dumbledore had done and was…fixing it? It was logical that he would show up now if that was the case.

But why go through all the trouble? Well he either saw something or he was crazy…did it matter? Tom decided he didn't really care if it meant he could leave the orphanage and began to pack his things, his movements hurried by his growing hope and excitement. Not that he would ever attempt to either. Deciding if whatever his Professor was doing didn't work out he would kill him, he went downstairs to meet his fate.

What he found was his uncomfortable looking Professor waiting in the hall just outside 's office door looking vaguely guilty. Loud sobbing could be heard inside 's office.

"Ah. Tom." The Professor winced as a very loud cry penetrated their ears.

"Always be carefully when you tell woman an ugly truth or lie for that matter. They don't always take it well. I suppose I got rather caught up in fake vision. It seems that her bringing about the end of the world bothers her." Tom almost grinned at this. He had not even the slightest sympathy for a woman who was quite convinced he was taken over by the devil and had never hid her hatred of him.

"Now you're packed and ready to go then?"

"Yes sir."

"Good then grab my arm and we'll be out. I have a feeling Abraxas could use some help with a hat problem."

10 minutes earlier

Harry sucked at mind blocking, but he was fairly good at mind attacking and reading. The easiest way to see exactly what Dumbles had done was to go into the woman's mind and find out. What he found pissed him off a lot.

Dumbledore had started off telling her the trip wasn't safe, which it wasn't really, but he didn't know that for a fact. Anyway the part that pissed him a little off, was that she really didn't care if Tom wasn't safe. She would do her duty as the Matron of the Orphanage, but she certainly didn't care for the boy's well fair. Harry hadn't really expected her too, but having to here thoughts which sounded so much like his Aunt Petunia's, well that didn't keep his mellow nice and mellowed for one.

The part which pissed him off a whole lot, was when Dumbledore had changed tactics and told her that Tom didn't deserve to go. The blunt lies about Tom from Dumbledore infuriated Harry and the woman's vile thoughts made him want to shake her.

He was felt justified in what he did. Didn't change the fact that he felt guilty over making anyone cry, but she deserved to know the results of her cruelty. Not that she single handily turned Tom into Voldemort and he would have been a saint if only she had been nicer to him…like he might have inferred…only a little bit.

Well he did leave her a bottle of gin so she most likely wouldn't remember anyway. Though he would make a promise to himself to next time only punish those that truly deserved it. Like Dumbledore for example. He had an evil genius, a potions master, and his order of lemon drops should be arriving this evening. Revenge would be sweet or in this case sour.

Inside a hat

"Come on, you stick in the mud! It will be an adventure!"

"Oh hush Godric, your being silly. We can't risk the container. It's the only way they have to sort the students."

"But I'm tired of sitting on a shelve most of the year!"

"I agree with Godric. I hate doing so, but I really am that bored. Besides it's a seer we'll be traveling with and sure he'll be able to protect us."

"See Rowena agrees with me! Hey what do you mean you hate agreeing with me?"

"She means that being known for her intelligence she fears agreeing with you will lower her IQ."

"No one asked you Sal."

"Come now this would be so irresponsible. You're not really going to go along with this are you?"

"It is irresponsible, stupidly so, but…"

"Oh not you to Salazar!"

"Of course not Helga, its just that we have been very safe for almost a thousand years and we don't know much about the outside world."

"So you're with them then?"

"Well…"

"Yes! Knew you had it in you Sally!"

"We are not doing this!"

"Wait! Someone else is under the hat."

"It's a blond and the hair smells rich must be one of your Malfoys Sal."

"Indeed it is. As he is in my house I'll take over this time yes?"

"Go ahead."

"Of course Salazar."

"Not like I want to talk to the snobby snake."

And so Salazar Slythrine took over the main specking function of the hat and started an epic conversation.

To be continued.


	16. Creative thinking

Thank you everyone for the reviews! I hope you like this chapter!

Creative thinking

A loud noise later and they found themselves in Hogsmade as close to the school as Harry could get. As they walked Harry decided to strike up an ideal chit chat.

"It seems strange to me that the Shrieking Shack hasn't been built yet."

Tom arched an eyebrow, but after being successfully kidnapped, not that he would refer to it as such was in a good enough mood to humor the man and so he asks with polite interest.

"The Shrieking Shack sir?"

"It will be known as the most haunted place in Britain, despite the fact that it will host no ghost nor ghouls at all. The Whumping Willow will be planted at the same time for the same reason. You know Tom, we wizards make up the worst names for everything. Look out for the titles in the newspaper; you'll soon see that wizards adore hyphens."

Of course even if Professor Potter started out with a lecturing tone it soon turned to a bizarre ranting about any number of things. Tom knew this because it often happened in class.

"I'll make sure to do that Professor." Tom said agreeably, still very pleased about escaping hell on earth, however it was not be long before he realized there might be a problem.

"Professor? I suppose I'll be staying at Hogwarts with you until its time for the trip." Tom ventured leading up to the point.

"Of course Tom."

"And what of the Headmaster? Has he approved this?" What Tom wanted to say was that Dumbledore would throw a fit, but it never turned out well to seem to accuse Dumbledore of anything. He had to go about this carefully.

Harry snorted.

"Of course not, but there isn't anything he can do about it. You'll find wizarding laws are made to work in the illogical action's favor."

"Ahh." That wasn't very reassuring. Harry seemed able to tell Tom wasn't reassured so he elaborated.

"I have your guardian's permission after all and as I live at Hogwarts I am perfectly allowed to have guest."

"I see, Professor." Just because his Professor had the legal right didn't mean the orange menace would play by the same rules.

"Now if you're worried about Dumbledore-"Tom looked at him sharply, he knew he wasn't being obvious.

"-you shouldn't be. There's nothing legal he can do and everything else can be countered with…creative thinking. The man has crossed the line lately. You know, I find that some people don't know their limits because no one has ever made a point to enforce those limits."

"Indeed Professor." Tom said with obvious interest. If this was headed were he thought this was headed…

"We have a week to prepare my trip and collect any other early arrivals, which should leave us with a fair bit of time on our hands. As I was saying earlier it's not healthy for a man such as Dumbledore to not know his limits. So with that in mind, I've been thinking…What do you say you about having a little fun with our dear Transfiguration professor this week?"

Sometimes the urge to grin evilly was very hard to suppress whether you were future evil Dark Lords or fake seers.

The hat

Ahh…a Malfoy head at last. So few people knew anything about proper hair care and when you were a hat other people's hair became very important. No lace, no splitends, no nasty oily hair on this boy's head. It was enough to make the old hat sign in relief as it settled onto the marvelous head.

"Mr. Malfoy, I do hope you don't want a resorting?" He would be very miffed if he did.

"_No of course not!" _Salazar was pleased with the amount of horror in the boy's voice and even more so with the unpleasant imagines in the boy's head of how horribly everyone he knew would react to such a thing.

"Then what brings you to put the _sorting hat_ on your head if you don't want to be _sorted_? Not that I mind, you do have nice hair."

"_Nice hair, of course its nice hair its Malfoy's hair!" _The boy thought smugly wondering how many people's hair the hat complimented.

"Not very many, you'd be amazed at the things in some of the first years hair and then when the Headmaster puts me on his wrinkled balding head-"

" **The point is if you will Salazar." Helga remarked in a way that the boy could not hear her.**

"**Yes, yes I'm getting to it." It's been far too long since he was able to have a chat with someone even slightly intelligent that wasn't Rowena. They could let him have a moment.**

"'but never mind that. What can I do for you?"

"_I'm apparently here, because no one gave me any real instructions, to ask you to come on Professor Potter's trip. I don't know why, I fail to see the use of bringing a hat on a trip to, to wherever he feels like taking us…"_ He said the last bit sadly as it reminded him that he was being forced to spend the summer with the craziest Professor in the school and he didn't even know where they were going.

"Ah, yes. Horace did say something about that…"

"…_Well?_"

"Well w-I'm thinking about it."

"…_And?"_

"Don't rush me. I'm 3/4th of the way decided."

"3/4th? How is someone 3/4th of the-"

"**Helga."**

"**No."**

"**I say we put it to a vote."**

"**Splendid idea Rowena as usual."**

"**It is not splendid!"**

"**The lion vote is YEA!"**

"**Yea for me as well."**

"**Oh, really! Salazar…"**

"**I really should be there to look after my Snakes my dear. The young Malfoy is very lost at the moment, Helga…Look in his little well groomed head. He doesn't think this will turn out well, and I really should do my duty…"**

**As they could read each others thoughts she knew he was pulling at her heart strings, but it didn't make it any less true.**

"**And what of the other students! The younger ones! What if they get homesick! Who will be there to coddle them if you don't go!"**

"**Oh Godric!...You really think so?"**

"**I think it would make sense if a few of them were feeling out of sorts and besides sorting the sorting hat is here to council." Said Rowena as the voice of reason, but she couldn't help adding.**

" **And he's a seer Helga! You know how long it's been since I spoke to a seer? 742 years it has been. Nothing will go wrong that he won't foresee and plan for. Now enough of this. Salazar tell the boy yea!"**

"**Hurry up Sally! He's fidgety."**

"**Fine, fine, hopefully everything will be fine…and if its not... I'll blame Godric."**

"**Hey!"**

Smirking as well as he could in a hat Salazar turned his attention back to the nice hair, I mean the Malfoy.

"Alright I've decided-"

Bang! The door to the classroom flew open and in skipped the Divination Professor.

"Horace! Finished with the hat problem yet?"

"Oho! Harry! And Tom too what a nice surprise! I think we're making some head way now!"

"Tom!" Said Abraxas with relief and badly contained joy that he was not alone.

"Abraxas." Tom replied coolly staring at his minion wearing the sorting hat, in Slughorn's office. Nothing will surprise him anymore he decided, not when he just came from a conversation with his Professor about love potions vs. muggle drugs something called LSD, to lace lemon drops with of course.

"So Horace, my students and I can take care of the rest of this hat business. I have another special job for you if you're up to it?"

"Of course Harry! Anything for you my lad!"

"I require a tasteless love potion that can be added to lemon drops."

Tom stared at Harry. The man was no Slythrin. Really, he just said that to Slughorn of all people with no disregard-

Slughorn chuckled.

"Oho! Certainly my lad, certainly. I won't ask, of course. Oho!"

Never mind. It seemed the seer did know what he was doing and he hadn't ran out of surprises yet either. One day Tom vowed, he would build of a tolerance to his Professor.

Slughorn left for his lab and Harry strode over to a slightly stunned Abraxas and removed the sorting hat from his head. He placed in on Slughorn's desk and asked it how it's been.


	17. Second day of Summer!

Hello everyone! So sorry it's been awhile. I just couldn't get the inspiration needed. My muse died for awhile. Hopefully all your lovely reviews will inspire me to write another chapter soon. Let me know what you think! Oh and we will get to the pranking soon I needed to get this out of the way first.

Second day of summer!

The other day Tom had been rescued from the orphanage, Abraxas's parents had been blackmailed to give him up, Slughorn stole the sorting hat and was easily persuaded to make love potion, Abraxas had talked to the hat, Harry had talked to the hat, and now that the day was over and everyone had slept, it was time for a new weird day!

Abraxas woke up really early that second day of summer morning, and at first he had no idea where he was. It him took a moment, staring at the bright green ceiling with swirly purple patterns, to remember where he was. It came back to him in flashes of shouting, hexing, and breaking vases.

_Ah… I almost forgot, I was taken away from the manor to go who-knows-where, with who-knows-who besides the Professor and Tom. I'm going back to sleep._

But Abraxas couldn't go back to sleep so he found himself up and about much too early, before anybody else was up. Meaning, of course, he needed to find something to occupy himself with. Snooping around a bit, he was soon to find was not the best idea.

Tom and Harry woke up half an hour after Abraxas had, when he released a rather loud scream.

In retrospect, maybe Harry should have thrown away the enchanted and defective razor he had gotten for Christmas from the herbology teacher who couldn't stand his messy hair.

Sending a quick spell over to vanish the razor, taking in the boy with once pretty shinny hair, and then exchanging an amused glance with Tom, Harry decided that no, he should not have thrown that away. This was obviously a bonding experience for him and Tom and therefore, it was more then worth a bald Malfoy.

After the boy's hair had been restored, and it had been, even with Harry snickering while casting the spell it was time for breakfast.

"So should we confront life head on, or should we eat in the kitchen? Right, right, forgot who I was taking to. Let's head to the kitchen!" Harry decided without actually listening to his students.

After breakfast where Harry did not flick food into Abraxas's new hair; after the boy insulted house elves and after he did not give a speech on why you should treat House elves kindly…

"You realize they make the food right? And don't give me anything about having to obey, because they can do anything they want if they punish themselves for it. Slit your throat in the middle of the night, but iron there hands later and no problem at all! Also can go through any wards and take wizards with them. Hogwarts, Ministry, your snobby manor…."

So after he did not do that, because doing so would have seemed childish, he took them to Slughorn to see about that love potion.

"Oho! Soon my lad! Soon. After lunch I expect. It needs to sit for awhile."

"That's alright I can think of a few other things we can do."

The went back to Harry's room and as soon as Harry uttered, "So…Who wants to-" Abraxas was out of there.

"I have summer Homework!" Gone.

Harry blinked.

"Are my ideas really that bad?"

Tom gave him a Look. It appeared that he would not be answering that.

Tom's point of view

Tom had declined Harry's suggestion of finding something random to do until lunch time, at which time they would visit the Weasley for lunch, even though it was dinner with the Weasleys', that only Harry had been invited too.

Not that it wouldn't be interesting; at least if he went where he wasn't wanted with one of the strangest men on earth, but it had dawned on Tom that he would have to do his summer homework at some point and now that he had the Hogwarts library empty of all other student it was too good of a chance to miss.

His Divination Professor had pouted and claimed that there would be epic awesomeness. There was really no way Tom could give in even if he wanted to, after hearing that sentence. What kind of person was persuaded to do something because someone assured them it would have 'epic awesomeness' of all things?

So Tom went to the library and enjoyed the peace and quiet, and lack of muggles. He later ate lunch in the kitchens where he regarded the house elves warily, decided to be at least slightly polite just in case, and found himself being more or less worshiped by the creatures because of it.

Perhaps his professor was onto something here.

Tom had much to think about after lunch, especially when he realized the elves knew just as much, if not more, gossip than the pictures did and they did not require anything more then a polite word here or there to tell all that they knew, as long as it did not betray their master.

However, upon returning to Professor Potter's quarters, all thoughts of house elves soon left his mind.

His Professor was setting on a table, swinging his legs, wearing the sorting hat. Fine. That was mostly normal. The fact that he was cheering and shouting, while two students cursed each other was not.

"Dodge it Abe! Come on Sep, aim higher and twirl the wand at the end for that spell!"

Abraxas and who appeared to be a Weasley in their year, was having a furious duel. Abraxas had apparently not heard that nickname before and spun around to face his Professor to perhaps curse him, yell at him, or gab at him in undignified shock and horror. It just so happened that Weasley sent a nasty spell at that exact time and if Harry hadn't yelled for him to duck, Abraxas would have lost his hair for the second time today. As it was, Abraxas didn't get hit with it, but did recognize the spell so turned back to the duel with Epic Malfoy Hair Rage. Well that was what Professor Potter called it.

"Hi Tom! Come sit. I have popcorn!"

There was really nothing else to do other then to sit, in a chair mind you, and decline the popcorn while he watched the dueling pair throw their curses at one another, which were getting more and more dangerous, and their Professor's things getting more and more destroyed.

Harry decided to explain, because Merlin knows Tom wouldn't ask.

" I wanted to get this out of the way, before the trip began. So I let them hurl curses at each other, this way it'll be easier- You could have blocked that! Stop leaving your left side open, Sep! There's no way they would have lasted the whole trip without hurting each other otherwise."

Tom nodded. It did make some sense after all.

While the amusement factor has increased with Professor Potter's comments," Watch your surroundings Abe, that could have been another enchanted razor that you just knocked into!" it did start to become boring as they both used up the spells they knew and started to repeat. Tom was contemplating hexing them both, as he really doubted Professor Potter would care when Abraxas who was becoming very frustrated shot off a spell just a bit to dark and lethal to be allowed in school and Weasley who was tiring put up a shield instead of moving out of the way. A shield that could not stand up to the type of spell Abraxas had cast.

He hardly saw Potter move. One moment he was happily eating popcorn and the next Weasley was banished out of the way and both boys' had been disarmed.

Professor Potter smiled and spoke calmly.

"Nothing wrong with a good duel. A good fight to settle differences and defuse tension. Do keep in mind if one of you kills the other, I will break your wand and take you to Azkaban myself…" There was a dramatic pause where Abraxas was rather pale.

"That being said would you boys like some cookies. Mrs. Weasley sent them and their simply marvelous!"

Septimus's Point of view

It all happened too fast, really. Septimus was sure he wouldn't be able to go, yet his teacher appeared around lunch time and an hour later was walking out the door cookies and pies from his mother clutched tightly in one arm, the other giving his father a last firm handshake while assuring his mother that he would remember to eat and would come stay for lunch again when he brought Septimus back. Septimus was behind him carrying his packed trunk.

It was very sudden, especially seeing as he had assumed his parents would ask him if he wanted to go in the first place before shoving him out the door.

Yes, his Professor was kind of cool in a very odd way and appeared to like him, maybe seeing as he did save him from some Slythrins at one point, but he wasn't certain if he wanted to go, seeing as he didn't know were they would be going. He really hadn't thought his mother would allow it anyway. She was over protective and surly wouldn't let him go somewhere when she didn't know where that was.

He was quite wrong.

He had been one of the few students to believe his Professor when he first told them he wasn't a seer. He didn't believe in the time travel thing that was just too silly, but his Professor not being a seer had just strike him as the truth for some reason.

He was quite wrong about that as well.

Obviously the man had been lying and really was a seer. There was no other way he could move about their homey, but cluttered house filled with red heads and not bump into anyone or anything at all. Indeed he seemed perfectly at peace in the Burrow, not needing to be told where the kitchen or the bathrooms were, never needing to ask someone twice for their name and effortless laughing at his younger brother's jokes, and keeping up with his elder brother's serious bland conversation.

Professor Potter was very suddenly a warm and friendly person who his parent's were easily able to approve of.

"You have such a welcoming home Mrs. Weasley!" He said with such sincerity that his mother blushed and insisted he have yet another serving of something.

"I've always been interested in the floo network ever since some friends of mine got stuck up a muggle chimney." His father worked with the floo network and Septimus has always thought it was a rather boring department.

There was stories and laughing and by the end of the meal even Septimus had almost forgotten the man didn't have red hair.

After the meal Harry, as he insisted he be called by everyone outside of school, talked highly of the wonderful adventures they would have in his trip without actually saying what the adventures would be. Of course he had an explanation for that.

"Well its mostly about the students getting some life experience. I understand that after Hogwarts most students are going to want to get jobs and start families. Very good things to do to be sure, but I really think it would be worth wile for them to see some of the more magical historical places the world has to offer." He never knew his Professor could sound so reasonable and sane. It really was unnerving.

"The reason I'm not saying exactly where we are going is because for one thing I'm not sure if we'll be able to go everywhere I want to and if one person only comes because they wanted to go to Egypt and then we just don't have to go to Egypt it would be very disappointing for the student were as if they've always wanted to go there it will be a happy surprise if we end up in Egypt! " Somehow he sounded as if putting one student's happiness above everyone's safety was perfectly normal and fine.

"And then of course I would like to take the students to a few muggle places. I think it will be a real learning experience for some of the children. Now if I told everyone that the students that could learn the most from it either won't want to come, their parents won't want them to come, or worse…they'll whine about it and come anyway and ruin the trip with the whining."

That really was the seller right there. His family was very light and the thought of the darker purebloods being forced into the muggle world was deeply amusing. If they did learn something all the better.

Septimus had always been interested in muggles and so didn't complain too much when it was revealed that this Professor was accepting some students early and his parents felt he should go ahead and go now so as not to bother his Professor by getting him at a later date.

Of course this was before he knew Malfoy, who still blamed him for whatever that curse was, was going to be there.


	18. Fast Like Ninja

Guess what? Luna has won the poll thing! 40 people voted and she never fell out of the lead so thought I may as well declare her the winner. For those of you that didn't want Luna never fear for I think it would be fun for her to have a companion on this journey. So a new poll is up people! Go to it! Go Now! Wait! Come back and review first!

Fast Like Ninja!

So the non threatening, wacky, weird, but completely harmless Divination teacher disarmed two skilled 5th years in 5 seconds flat when he had been eating popcorn, and they had been very alert as they were dueling.

For some reason Tom did not accept that the full accurate explanation was that, 'I'm just naturally fast like ninja'. This might be why he was being difficult and not allowing Harry to use him as a distraction; so Harry could switch Dumbledore's lemon drops with Harry's special ones.

Or it could be the fact that Tom was a Slythrine and Dumbledore had it out for him, so he wasn't very inclined to risk his self for none lethal revenge…but Harry was pretty sure he could have gotten him to do it anyways, if not for Tom being irate that Harry wouldn't give a straight answer.

In the end Harry was the distraction and Tom switched the lemon drops. Of course Tom also had a free pass into the restricted section for two full months for next year, and was allowed to borrow Harry's invisibility cloak for the rest of the day.

Hopefully Harry's attempt to do bonding activities with Tom wouldn't lead him into being Voldemort faster. The restricted section was a risk; as there laid the word Horcrux in one of the books somewhere, and then just letting him play with a Deathly Hollow for a day might not have been the very best idea…

Well…the future was messed up anyways, so Harry really didn't think he could make it _much_ worse, besides Harry was a lucky guy when terrible things weren't happening to him… That had to count for something right? Right.

Dumbledore's point of view

Dumbledore had been pleased with himself after solving the problem with Mr. Riddle, pleased enough to decide to allow Professor Potter's trip. Of course without Tom, Dumbledore was sure Professor Potter could be persuaded to accept another student so as to keep whatever number it was he had been wanting.

Minerva McGonagall was an excellent student in Transfiguration and something of a protégé to him. Certainly she would be happy to tell him all about the trip when she got back. The fact that Minerva didn't like Divination didn't enter his mind, nor the fact that Potter wasn't too pleased with him. When you were Albus Dumbledore things just went according to plan one way or another.

"Albus!" His office door flew open to reveal a very happy Divination Professor.

"How are you Albus? I've had a most marvelous idea for my trip! And I know we've had a bit of a disagreement before, but I was just thinking that-"

Dumbledore knew there had been more talking after that. Yes something about fields and muggle candy factories, but everything seemed rather fuzzy at the moment and what was he doing in the court yard? Now that can't be right…I would have never said that! Dippet was certainly not his type and to have done such a thing in public…no… he must be confunded or suffering from a faultily memory charm.

He would go to the medical witch at once…after he found his socks and his wand that is.

Tom's point of view

Graceful, competent, and powerful were not words that Tom would have used to describe his Divinations teacher before. Of course before the man in question had not _gracefully_ leap into action, _competently _handle a harmful situation and _powerfully_ disarm two people with one spell and very skillfully use a banishing charm so that a student was moved just fast enough to get out of the way from an oncoming hex, but not using enough force to send the student crashing into something.

Did he mention the spells were cast silently and Potter never lost his popcorn? He was entirely too fast, too practiced to be a simple divinations teacher, though of course Harry had never claimed to be a 'simple' divinations teacher. Well the man was a seer, perhaps he had gone through training to be able to protect himself from those that would force him to use his power for their own profit?

A perfectly fine explanation except that Professor Potter did not use this perfectly fine explanation.

"I don't know why you all are looking at me like that. It's not my fault I'm naturally fast like ninja. Now eat your cookies."

It would have been highly amusing that he was intimidating a Weasley and a Malfoy to sit together eating cookies if he didn't keep looking at him and pouting over the fact that Tom was not yet eating a cookie. It was interesting that the Professor seemed to pout or look disapproving when he wanted Tom to do something instead of acting like he could force or intimidate him into doing anything.

Smart of him, unlike the other teachers Potter might actually be useful enough to keep around when Tom ruled the world.

With that happy thought Tom took a slow and deliberate bite of a cookie. Potter beamed making Tom instantly wonder if he had done something to the cookies, of course the Professor was eating the same cookies, but he might just be crazy enough to do so even if he had done something to them.

Harry wondered why Tom was staring at the cookie so seriously, but decided that it didn't really matter and now was the perfect time to tell the three boys of his plan. Rubbing his hands together evilly and giving his best smirk he began.

"So the spiked lemon drops will be done soon and I have the perfect plan-"

"Professor?" Said Weasley hesitantly.

"Yes Septimus?"

"I…I have homework… and I should really get that done before the trip…Charms! Have a charms essay. Very time consuming…may I be excused?"

Harry signed disappointedly.

"I suppose…"

"Thanks Professor!" He left the room quickly.  
>Abraxas attempted a dignified exit raising from his chair and slowly walking towards the door as he spoke.<p>

" I also have some more homework to get to I-"

"Oh fine! Just leave…" Harry said sourly as Abraxas quickened his pace and left.

"Do you want to hear my evil plan?" Harry turned hopefully to Tom.

"Evil?" Tom mocked raising an eyebrow.

"Well I'm combining drugs and love potion spiked lemon drops and giving them to another Professor hopefully with a students help. If not evil what would you call it?"

"Morally unethical." Tom said instantly.

"Same thing." Harry whined. Tom gave him a Look that seemed to be effective.

About 20 mins later after much negotiation Tom and Harry visited Slughorn, received the lemon drops, Harry added a 'very special' ingredient to them and they were off.

"Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz! What? It's a classic song?"

Tom was beginning to have doubts about this plan. Harry's assurances that all would be well if Tom trusted him, didn't trip while under the invisibility cloak, and stopped looking at him like that while he was trying to sing did nothing to stop those doubts.


	19. The Day of Judgment

Forgive me my fans for I have taken a loooooong time to get this next chapter.

My own pride is at fault really. Someone said the prank with Dumbledore wasn't very funny and I had planed to expand on what happened with him anyway, but I ended up swearing to that person the next chapter would be Super Funny.

Well it just didn't work out. I just couldn't do it how wanted to. I couldn't write out the chapter showing the prank, it kept being so stupid. I've rewritten this chapter at least 20 times and finally settled on this. I just don't think it's fair to make everyone wait so long when I have so many chapters planed out already.

So I'm really sorry that this is the best I could do when it's been so long. At least you can expect normal updates again. Maybe at some point I'll go back and try to write the scene again.

So without further ado, here's

The Day of Judgment

_Tom was beginning to have doubts about this plan. Harry's assurances that all would be well if Tom trusted him, didn't help him trip while under the invisibility cloak, and stopped looking at him like that while he was trying to sing, did nothing to stop those doubts._

If it wasn't for the lure of the restricted section and the very interesting magical artifact draped over his head and shoulders Tom wouldn't have gone though with this at all.

However as it was he did have a priceless artifact on his head and a pass in his pocket, therefore he followed his Professor into Dumbledore's office to wait for the opportune moment.

"Albus!" Of course Professor Potter burst into the room like a mad man, why wouldn't he?

"How are you Albus? I've had the most marvelous idea for my trip! And I know we've had a bit of a disagreement before, but I was just thinking that-"

Ignoring Potter ,who was doing an excellent impression of a Gryffindor, (that being he was using large hand gestures and specking loudly as he could) Tom spied the lemon drops sitting innocently on Dumbledore's desk.

"That I really was being unreasonable and that it really wouldn't hurt to give you some vague idea of what I was doing. Mostly I needed your advice on a possible site location. Do you mind? You don't? Wonderful."

It was nice to know that Potter talked over everyone not just his students. Tom was now very close to the lemon drops, but it didn't do him much good as they were still in the candy loving fool's line of vision. Potter was soon to fix that.

The man still talking, moved himself to the very back of the room behind Dumbledore's desk and began feeling the wall as if he expected something to be there. Deciding this was attention stealing enough; Tom very carefully set the new bowel of lemon drops down on the desk and even more carefully picked up the original bowl of lemon drops and hid them under the amazing cloak he was quite pleased he got to borrow for the rest of the day. His job was done now all he had to do was wait for Potter to open the door and he could leave. Which Potter would do, now, soon, at some point when he stopped feeling that bleeding wall.

"I forgot they don't have projectors in this time, darn it! Oh well I can always do this."

With a wave of his wand at the wall a large black board appeared in the room. Harry promptly walked over and began scribbling with some chalk he seemed to pull out of no where.

Now would be a good time to note that Dumbledore had been paying Harry his full attention, eyes twinkling with grandfatherly amusement, rather pleased that the universe was right once more and things were going his way again.

Tom eyes followed Dumbledore's hand as it reached for a celebratory lemon drop.

Harry began to speak, talking loudly and gesturing at the board.

"Now I have around 15 locations thought out so far. Peru to Cuba and Austria, but my main problem is, should we go to Hershey Pennsylvania the American muggle chocolate factory-"

Dumbledore put the yellow sweet to his lips.

"- or should we venture into the Magwhana Swamp to try and find Madam Hegia who claims she can read people into books? For you see if we're doing the chocolate factor; Charlie and the Chocolate Factor would be the very best place."

Dumbledore swallowed the sweet and as his eyes took on a neon brightness never before seen, all hell broke lose before Tom's very eyes.

Several hours later

Tom's point of view

_Tom's thoughts_

In the Headmaster's office there was an elderly man pacing seemingly fretting about something, and a younger man looking quite relaxed in a chair nearby, who for some reason was a having a problem hiding his grinning, or to be more specific, was not hiding such a thing at all.

"Terrible, just terrible business Harry. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't there."

_Not have the problem in the first place._

"Now, now Headmaster I'm sure you would have done admirably in my absence."

_He's not even hiding how pleased he is._

"I've never been so embarrassed. We all knew he played on the other side of the pitch, but such vulgarity from the man!"

_Tom had not known that, but it did explain why there had never been a Mrs. Dumbledore_.

" Now I think you over exaggerate just a bit. It was rather sweet really saying that 'your nose was a standard, that brought most men to there knees' and that"

_Tom wasn't sure if he should snort or shudder at this statement. Sweet? Really?_

" No I can't hear it again!"

_Neither can I. It was nauseating, but all things considering, it was also the most amusing thing he had ever seen._

" 'Your eyes shined like the perfect lemon drop'"

_Now Professor Potter was just being cruel. _Something Tom wholeheartedly approved of_._

"Oh! And in front of Pomona…"

" That was the young women you were dining with? She was quite lovely even when Albus did spill pumpkin juice down her dress."

_Tom smiled, it had been a wonderful timed moment of drugged coordination._

" Do you know who she is Professor!"

" Well I believe you said her name was-"

_Always has to be obnoxious, Tom thought with an odd fondness._

"The Ministry's niece, Harry! The job interview was going so well, just going to have a nice lunch in the great hall before she left and then, then…"

_Oh really…The Ministry's niece. I bet he planned that. Of course Potter would know she was coming._

" Well she took it well. Didn't run away until Albus stared removing clothing."

_Not something he ever wanted to hear threaten again. Just the thought of it…_

"Thank Merlin you got to him before he removed anything other then his socks."

_Tom almost flinched. Dumbledore had very old, dry and wrinkled feet. Tom felt no reason he would have ever wanted to know that._

"Horribly sorry I didn't foresee this. The inner eye does not work upon command you know."

_What was the expression Potter used? Of yes, it was a 'load of BS'. Although what BS stood for no one had yet to be able to figure out. Of course if Tom had cared to, he could have found out, but he didn't so it was at the moment unknown._

"Quite right, quite right."

"You aren't displeased? I called the authorities when he went screaming outside somewhere?"

_Now seeing the magical law enforcement carry a confused Dumbledore off was the highlight of Tom's day, if not his year._

"I can't say I'm pleased with any of this, especially my Transfiguration teacher being arrested, but no… much as I hate to say it, Albus really lost his marbles this time. It was all for the best Harry. Don't know what happened to cause all that, but at least he didn't resist arrest."

_A pity._

" He almost did until he retrieved his socks." Harry pointed out helpfully. Tom smirked.

" Lemon drops and socks." Dippet shock his head sadly.

" Maybe it was just the stress Headmaster. We live in trying times and he is getting on in age. However perhaps he should be looked at by a mind healer before he comes back to teach. Just in case after all."

_Oh how perfect, a lovely suggestion by his 'oh so caring Professor as always.'_

"Right, right. I can't have my successor being crazy. At least there is one bit of sliver lining."

_And you're telling it to Potter?_

" And that is?"

_No one notices when he looks over eager and ominous._

" That the people that brought Dumbledore in at least have some respect for this school and its teachers. This won't be spread across the headlines at least."

Potter's sharp green eyes seemed to pierce Tom even under the invisibility cloak. Potter gave a slow warm smile.

" Of course, Sir. Thank goodness for that."

" I'll say it again Professor Potter. I don't know what I'd do without you."

_More of the pandering to Potter, and Dippet has no idea._

" Well you'll have me until the contract I signed that I was blackmailed into runs out, but don't worry I'll stick around just a little while longer after that happens. Want to make sure everything is running soothingly and that you won't ever forget what you did-What the school has meant to me, that is."

_What was that? Why and how for that matter could Potter have been blackmailed?_

_Dippet of course didn't notice a thing and after a few more moments Tom followed Potter out._

"When you spy on me you need to remember that you are both solid, make noise, and that it's my cloak. Of course I knew you were using it."

Tom carefully, slipped the clock off and calmly faced his Professor.

" It wasn't you I was hiding from."

" True, Tom?"

" Yes Professor?"

"First of all call me Harry in the summertime. You're not taking classes and you should always be on first name terms with people after you something illegal; well I suppose your words 'morally unethical' sound a little better there."

" Very well…Harry." Might as well just go with it, Po- Harry's own brand of logic was not something one should look too deeply into.

" Now second of all. There is this horrible little girl. No not horrible I'm not allowed to say that, but there is a 3rd year girl in Ravenclaw whose mother happens to be a rather well known reporter. Little Rita does not take divination, but I have the futuristic feeling that I should put aside my own feelings and have a nice long talk with her mother. The reporter as I said."

" Indeed. Well if there is…" Tom couldn't bring himself to say 'futuristic feelings'.

" If there is something telling you that's what you should do, then I wish you the best of luck."

"Won't you come with me Tom? I'm sure you and Mrs. Skeeter would have just as much to talk about as I. Now this doesn't have anything to do with anything, but did you know the woman has been trying to get some dirt on our dear Transfiguration teacher for years? Such a hard thing to believe, of course."

" Of course. I suppose I have finished most of my summer work."

" Wonderful Tom! Our journey tomorrow will be filled with fun and of course-"

Harry waited a moment as if he expected Tom to finish his sentence, beaming for some odd reason when Tom raised his eyebrow.

" Much Awesomeness!"


	20. Third Day of Summer!

44 votes on the poll so I believe I can declare Hedwig the clear winner.

Now I could include another character, but if I do it will be much later. Say after the next 20 chapters or so.

Thank you all for the reviews!

After I introduce the rest of the characters going on the field trip I will have another poll asking you who you like the most.

Third Day of Summer!

This time Harry did not wake up to the screaming of a Malfoy or the screaming of anyone in fact. Actually, his morning started out very peaceful. As Harry lay in bed, looking up at the bright green ceiling with swirling purple patterns, he thought back to yesterday.

The most important thing was that Harry and Tom had bonded. Yes it had taken bribery and the public humiliation of Dumbledore, but in the end Harry had gotten Tom to call him Harry; and that was a wonderful fist step towards...err…his plan, yes, the plan that he would remember. His plan of…err making a better future!

Now everyone knows that Harry's plans are best left vague so that was a perfectly acceptable statement and needed no further thought, for obviously things were going well.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"There's an owl."

"Then go and get it."

" You go get Weasley. Some of us have more important things to do then fetch owls."

Tap. Tap. Tap.

" Is it too much to ask for one of you to stop acting like small child and remember you have a wand?"

Tom who was still in a good mood from yesterday nonchalantly used his magic to open the window, which appear to be a mistake for the owl quickly flew through the window and attacked Harry.

Harry who had been rather amused over Malfoy's and Weasley's little fight soon fond himself in a fight for his life, battling beak and claw. Harry did the only thing he could think of this early in the morning. He screamed.

Hedwig's point of view

I am the fastest owl, the smartest owl, and the of course an owl of amazing beauty.

I chose my human the day I saw him walking with the big man out the window of the prison I was in. I allowed the big man to escort me to my chosen human and I have trained my human for a great many years.

To say I was most displeased when my human disappeared is an understatement.

I could feel that my chosen was not dead, yet no matter where I looked, where I flew I could not sense him.

This was very frustrating. What was even more frustrating was that after I realized I would need help from the other humans, ones my human often conversed with, were useless. None of them could lead me to my human no matter how hard I pulled their hair or snapped at their fingers.

It was a very long time before I found the one the other humans thought were odd and she helped me find my human.

It was not a fun trip and my human was going to pay for my unhappiness in fingers, after I receive my pound of flesh I expect much praise and many owl treats!

Harry's point of view.

It had started as such a lovely day too. On the one hand Harry was thrilled to see his beloved owl again, he was in fact moved to tears. And he would swear to Hedwig in a rather pleading voice that his tears were a sign of his love for her and not a reaction to the numerous scratches on his face, arms, and hands.

After he was rescued by Septimus, Malfoy had been to busy laughing, and Tom had undoubtedly been questioning every good thing he had ever thought about his Professor who had now been defeated by an owl; yes, after that Harry had managed to raise from his tangle of blanket, torn bits of pillow, and feathers.

He was quick to get Hedwig away from Septimus before he could also suffer.

"Come on girl, don't kill the boy. Here you want my arm? Yes, you can stand on my arm and rip it to ribbons if you'll stop going for the eyes. Ouch! Good girl, that's my sweet girl. I've missed- Ah! That hurts. - You so much my wonderful special little girl. Yes, I'm so sorry I had to leave you darling. It wasn't my fault. Of course I wanted to take you with me, but I didn't know that it was about to happen so I couldn't bring you along-"

Tom's point of view

It was a beautiful snowy owl, her head was held higher then a Malfoy's, her eyes flashed with malice, and she had some of Harry's blood on her beck and talons. Tom was very nearly impressed by the owl, not so much with his professor who was standing in his night clothes cooing apologies and sweet words to the creature.

Abraxas had finally stopped his laughing fit and now decided to sneer scornfully and stupidly enough to speak.

"It's your owl then? I'm not surprised you would be the one to have such an untrained and misbehaving owl."

Professor Potter seemed to freeze and the owl that had been grinding her claws into the man's flesh very slowly turned her head around to face Abraxas.

Harry screamed, 'Duck!' at the some time as the owl launched herself off of his arm directly at Abraxas's face.

As Harry tried to enlist Septimus's help while he removed the angry owl from Abraxas's face, Tom deiced to take a leaf out of his professor's book and find a place out of harms way to enjoy the show. Tom was never very found of popcorn, but he wouldn't have minded having his breakfast at the same time as the entertainment.

About 25 mins. later

Tom had an inkling that the fun had yet to stop and so followed the 3 injured wizards to the infirmary as they waited for the nurse to gather the healing salves needed; Harry discovered that the somewhat demonic owl was carrying a letter.

"Oh do you have a letter for me, Hedwig?" There was a sharp sound as the powerful looking beak snapped close to fingers.

" I know your mad at me and that you have every right to be mad at me, but can I please have my letter. Honey? Sweetheart? The most beautiful, powerful, amazing owl in the whole world. You really are the best you know, I bet no other owls ever delivered a letter through time before."

The owl seemed to decide that this was decent enough, groveling for now, and slowly allowed the letter to be taken from her.

" Oh, its Luna!" Said Harry looking remarkably happy for someone that has blood dripping off his nose from one very long scratch.

" Hmm? What was that dear?" Said the medic witch in a high pitched girly voice. None of the students could stand her bedside manor or her personality at all really.

Once again Harry seemed to freeze as if only now understanding where he was.

Harry's point of view

_Dear Harry,_

_This is Luna. I was in the mountains trying to study the breeding patterns of the 2 tailed ratmokeies when Hedwig found me and wanted me to find you so I deiced to do so, but upon my arrival I received a wonderful lead on a pack of Heliopaths! It's possible that in this time the Ministry has yet to capture them all and I can save the species! It's all very thrilling. I've sent Hedwig on ahead of me as she was clearly worried for you._

_I expect I'll find you even without Hedwig's help. The Nargles are always willing to help with such things as long as I give them mike, honey, and toenail clippings._

_PS: Hedwig may be a bit mad at you. I'd watch my fingers and hair. At one point she went around attacking everyone she had seen you talking to before. Ronald, Hermione, Neville and I, though of course we understood, but Professor McGonagall was none to pleased and Draco Malfoy swears his hair will never be the same again._

How amazing. How wonderful. Another Malfoy's hair had suffered. Oh and he got in contact with a friend he hadn't heard from in years, there was that too.

Harry was so pleased and excited that he had almost forgotten that he was in _her _domain.

" Hmm? What was that dear?" Two things you should know about Madam Brusly. One she lusted after Harry and two…well…lets just say she strongly reminded him of Umbridge. There was nothing else for it, but to jump up point behind her and scream.

" It's a man eating Heliopath!"

Harry ran all the way to Slughorn's office, as surly he would have something for his cuts, and as far he knew the man did not harbor any kind of crush on him.

And to think all this excitement and they hadn't even had breakfast yet.


	21. Off to see the Skeeter!

Off to see the Skeeter!

At breakfast

It was hard to tell if Tom was more amused or disappointed with him. If he was disappointed, chances were he would forgive him before Hedwig would. His beautiful smart owl that he had since he was 11 had forsaken him. She had moved on, left him for the foreseeable future.

Harry knew his owl. It was apparent that Septimus, who had helped Harry, was labeled as Harry's accomplice and Hedwig acted accordingly by ignoring him just as she did Harry. Abraxas, however was even more in the doghouse than Harry and was glared at anytime he spoke. If Abraxas had been so inclined to make made proper apologies he would been forgiven faster than Harry, but Harry saw it as sliver lining that Abraxas was obviously not so inclined.

Out of all of them it wasn't so surprising who Hedwig had chosen as her favorite to further snub Harry. Harry would have been quite pleased really how they were getting along, if his owl wasn't mad at him of course.

After a truly epic staring contest where there was no clear winner, Hedwig had proceeded to invade Tom's personal space picking food off of his plate and trying to affectingly nip at his fingers. At first Tom had seemed fairly unnerved by this behavior in the owl and that was amusing, but Tom being Tom soon reached the decision not to bother the owl that defeated his teacher and two of his classmates and instead ignored her as she did what she liked.

This called for pouting. She was his owl. _His_. They had been though so much together. He had thought he would never see her again. But now she was back…and ignoring him in favor of Tom Riddle. He was only allowing this to mess with Harry, the little git and after all Harry had done for him!

This might even call for whining. Harry wondered just how much respect he would lose if he started whining about his owl not liking him anymore?

Hedwig nuzzled Tom hand in an attempt to steal his food and succeeded, she then shoot Harry a short smug look and returned to Tom and the food.

Screw whining, Harry had now reached the point of sulking into his breakfast.

Septimus who had never seen his professor so upset deiced to try and cheer the man up.

"Umm sir, I'm sure your owl will forgive you soon."

Abraxas snorted at the idea of Hedwig's forgiveness and stubbornly ignore her glare of doom at his noise.

"No she won't. I haven't seen her in years and she was mad at me for days when I spoke to her sharply once. Alas I have been forsaken! You stole my owl Tom!"

There goes the superior eyebrow going up.

"I don't think your owl appreciates the idea the she would let herself be stolen."

Oh Tom just won himself some brownie points with Hedwig. Harry could feel his pouting lip growing by the second.

"S..Sir? It's better then being peaked at all the time, right?" It seemed the redhead really was determined to make Harry stop pouting.

Harry slowly turned to look at him.

"No… It's not…" He wasn't whining over an owl, he was whining over one of his best friends, so there.

"Are you going to sulk all day?" Asked Abraxas snottily.

"Yes and the day after that, and the day after, and the one after that one."

If the way the three boys' looked at him was any indication this was a confirmation of his weirdness. Joy.

After breakfast

Harry was mostly back to normal after breakfast. Hedwig would get over it eventually and Harry did deserve it, however this brought up an interesting question of how the boys' would act if they really thought Harry was depressed? Septimus had already spoken up more than was normal when he was around the two Slythrines and that was a good thing, right?

It really wouldn't hurt to stretch his unhappiness out just a bit to see if he had bonded with them at all, and by them he meant Tom. Septimus was a nice kid that already was trying to cheer him up and Abraxas was a brat, not hard to see what he would do after all.

Decisions, decisions. Well, it would be something new to do until he got bored with it…so why not?

"Alright who's coming with me to Skeeter's house?" Harry said in a dull voice, while biting the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning. Just how long could he keep this up?

"Homework." Said Abraxas instantly, the little uncaring arse.

"Err…ah…I'll go?" Septimus really doesn't have much confidence in me does he?

"Thank you Sep." Harry mumbled, so hard not to be cheerful, but never fear for he would prevail!

Harry then looked at Tom.

Tom then looked at Harry.

"I agreed yesterday." Tom said in a voice which clearly meant. 'Don't you remember you idiot?' He had a point really, but Harry was being all depressed here and when he was depressed his IQ went down, well that's what Hermione said anyway.

What was the point in this again? Whatever, he now needed to give his students information to survive, though it was weird talking so bland when he wanted to be strangely cheerful. After all they might collect another student today and it would be so interesting to see how they react too little Rita. Not only that, but Harry was going to get Mrs. Skeeter to drown Dumbledore in the dirt Harry had on him. It would be a very enjoyable day.

"Well let's be off, then. Now there are many things you need to know before we meet the dangerous creature that is a reporter, especially one of her skills. Watch your words, tone, facial expressions, and posture. She can smell fear and will sink her teeth into any weakness."

Harry kept up his monologue of very important reporter handling advice, but in as lifeless of a voice as he could manage as they left Hogwarts.

" Always demand to look over her notes before you leave no matter how rude it seems. While you should not appear shifty don't look into her eyes for too long just in case."

Harry was even boring himself at this point, but luckily the act was already getting to Sep. It's amazing how loud teenagers talk when they think adults aren't listening to them.

"Do something Riddle."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Weasley."

"Don't play dumb Riddle it doesn't suit you."

He had that right, but what was Sep on about? Oh, yeah Harry needed to keep talking.

"Never eat or drink anything a reporter gives you. If you can, destroy their self writing quills. Always remember that bribes and blackmail are your best friends in this case. Bribes of great stories are better than the kind with money because it's not illegal and they will get both money and fame if they get a good enough story so that's worth more."

"Look you need to fix him. He's not, I mean he…well he's not singing!"

" He doesn't always sing and I fail to see how him not singing is a bad thing."

"Riddle, he's unhappy and that's making him…err odd. Odder then usual and in a bad way, I mean."

" I highly doubt our Professor needs fixing and if he did, then, as you're the one that's concerned, you should be the one to 'fix him', as you put it."

Tom appeared completely bored and Septimus was looking very pissed off at the other boy.

Harry turned his face away from them and grinned. This was too fun.


	22. Meeting Rita

Hey everyone! I've been super busy and this turned into a rather long chapter. Lots of character development in this one. Deep thoughts of the charters and such. Think of it as setting the scene for Harry's take on everything. I hope you enjoy it.

Rita's point of view

Rita didn't know how it happened, well she did, but the whole thing just seemed so surreal. The straight facts were that her mother had been given unbelievable awe-inspiring dirt to bury Dumbledore for a long time. This had made her mother very happy.

The two students he had brought with him had not known any of this information, and were noticeable shocked by it. The red headed one had seemed overly concerned with the Professor's well being and the brown headed one had seemed to dislike her mother for an unknown reason. And last but certainly not least, Rita would be joining them on this field trip into the unknown. Rita was rather excited about this.

Now the top rate reporter facts were of course different, but that didn't mean they couldn't be true with enough evidence. Her mother had been taken in by the professor's charms and wit and had fallen madly in love with him. She was fairly certain that one, if not both, of these male students he had with him also has a crush on the Professor and that Professor Potter was completely oblivious to all three of the people lusting after him. It could also be theorized that someone with his supposed skill with the inner eye was simply not possible, thus he really was from another time or even another world; though he was still a seer in that other time period or world, of course.

It was the juiciest story she had ever had and her hand was just itching for a quill. Oh, Rita was thrilled she was going on this trip! Would one of the man's students win his heart? Would they be in peril? Would he make an amazing prediction or prophecy? Where would they go, what would they see? Why was he taking them on a field trip anyways, and why does he keep looking at the boy with an owl on his shoulder so sadly?

Of course, now that she thought about it; she could answer that one. The professor must have had a break up with that boy, but they still had feelings for each other. The red headed one was trying to comfort the man and start a relationship with him.

Now that made so much sense.

Rita's mother point of view

By the end of the day Mrs. Skeeter knew she had met an amazing man. She knew it was a life changing experience in her career. Not only did she have an inside scope of Dumbledore's recent mental failing that she would write was from an 'anonymous' source, she had the man's history, his dirty past, his _scandal_.

Oh, this would keep the headlines for weeks! She could make up half a dozen articles tonight and they would be hot and ready for the next day's press. She couldn't stop the flush of excitement from her face as that wonderful man gave her the keys to her success. This was just what she needed to really get her name out there!

Of course the students he had brought with him had only managed to bring yet another angle to the life and manipulations of one Albus Dumbledore. She had nearly enough information to write a full novel about the man. Just some research, some interviews. It would be ridiculously deliciously controversial; though perhaps she would let Rita come up with the name if she did publish a book "Life and Manipulates" just didn't have the right ring to it.

If there was anything that wasn't completely perfect it was the little bump they had run into regarding those two boys. Of course the Weasley wasn't much help, his family always having a strong support of Dumbledore that was not any surprise. He was able to give another view of Dumbledore's humiliation earlier so the boy hadn't been completely useless.

It was the other boy that had so much potential and just refused to let her use it. He would do nothing more then hinting at the ways he had been wrong by the professor. Oh he had plenty of examples of other students being unfairly treated, but his story, and she could tell he had a story, he would not speck up on.

An orphan that was abused by his Transfiguration teacher would have been the icing on the cake for Dumbledore's ruin.

Perhaps it was the silly teenager mentality of not wanting to look weak, but she had been surprised that Professor Potter who had been so open, pleasant, and not afraid to answer her hard questions had backed the boy up on that occasion.

Looking back he had been very protective of both boys. Drawing the line firmly when she tried to acquire some basic background. Considering just how profitable his visit had been over all she decided his dedication to keeping the pressure off his young charges was admirable. Of course it could be spun in a very different way, but for once her quill would be so busy that even a possible inappropriate relationship between a Professor and his students would fail to compare.

Besides unlike the marvelous man, Professor Potter, while she was not a seer she could foresee a very long and profitable relationship between herself and the Divination's professor. Very profitable indeed.

Septimus's point of view

Septimus was very unhappy. He was unhappy that his professor was unhappy because a depressed Professor Potter was just…wrong. It was unnerving and made him uncomfortable for he had never seen Profes-Harry, sad in any of the classes he had with the man before. Most of the time Pro-Harry was very energetic and even if he wasn't pleased he was normally sarcastic.

There was also the fact that Harry could be a rather warm person such as when he had visited Septimus's family. It had been so natural for him to be there; like he was part of the family. He had also looked out for him in school that time, like an older brother would have.

It was embarrassing, but Septimus had always longed for an older sibling. A real older sibling not like the one he did have that could talk of nothing but the most boring of things and was useless for any kind of brotherly support. He had tons of younger brothers and they all went to him when they wanted something or needed something.

He fell into the responsible older brother slot at home because the real oldest couldn't be bothered. His parents were very loving and he could of course go to them for anything, but they had to take care of the little ones first and that was a very busy job. He understood that and accepted it for the most part. It was only with Professor Potter, becoming Harry, that it had become a bit harder to bare.

It was very embarrassing and stupid to start thinking of a Professor that you were just another student to in a brotherly fashion so he had tried very had to keep such thoughts out of his head, however Harry being Harry hadn't helped with this.

Harry was very informal, he had insisted that they all call him by his first name and he had given both Malfoy and him nicknames. Calling Harry professor was like a natural block that laid out exactly where their relationship stood and getting rid of that hadn't made things easier on Septimus.

At this point Septimus could admit he cared more for the strange Professor than he should; seeing as he was becoming increasingly upset over the man's mood and Riddle's stubbornness.

He knew Riddle could fix this if he wasn't such an unfeeling Slythrine arse.

It is therefore with all of this on his mind that Septimus would face the evil known as 'The Reporter' completely unprepared. Luckily, his Professor, who was throwing brotherly vibes at him, was there to save the day.

Tom's point of view

It was an enlightening experience, speaking to the reporter, and Tom doubted he would have faired as well as he did without his Professor there. His Professor, who he was almost certain, was faking his poor mood. It was completely out of character for the man, and while he did seem rather upset at first over the owl, Tom was sure he had bounced back rather quickly and was now just acting for amusements sake.

Well, Tom was mostly sure. If he was right then his Professor wouldn't keep the game up that long. Even if he was really upset he would get over it on his own…Probably. Either way it was not up to Tom to interfere... unless it carried on until the trip then he may have to do something, just so that Harry wasn't distracted enough to get them all killed. That was the only reason, really.

Anyways, the reporter was like a shark sensing blood and going after it with an overwhelming force. He was certain she couldn't see though his well mannered mask, but she had an instinct for secrets. Could easily tell and was suspicious of any slight change of topic, facial expression, or tone of voice. It was actually harder to be interviewed by the woman than it was engaging in pureblood politics.

Harry had been quite right that this woman had the power and intelligence to destroy Dumbledore's reputation if given the right materials and, oh, had she been given the right materials.

The immense amount of personal information Harry had on Dumbledore was staggering. It was also rather frightening if he had gained that much information only using his abilities, than what might he learn of Tom and his future plans?

It had been amusing when she had cornered the simpleminded little Weasley and demanded to know his thoughts about this new information coming to light about his professor. Harry had allowed the boy to suffer the questions of the reporter only for a few moments. She had soon turned the conversation towards what the boys' family would think and Harry had apparently believed that to be pushing too far and politely, but very firmly, asked her to move on.

It wasn't nearly as amusing when she had turned to him. Things were fine at first. He had lots to say and informed her he wasn't surprised by this information at all, which was a complete lie that he had backed up with his knowledge of numerous faults and bad behaviors of the man to other students. Some of which was true and others were taken if only slight out of context.

This was not enough for the reporter. She seemed to sense his dislike for the man and pushed to find out why he personally didn't like Dumbledore. Not getting a satisfying answer, she wanted to know his history, his past, and the relation he had had with the Transfiguration Professor.

Deciding to work with that he allowed her to know that Dumbledore had never liked him and he believed the reason why was because the man hadn't liked his impression of him when they first met. That was true, but he made it sound like it was his intelligence and ambition Dumbledore had disliked.

Despite giving her more to work with she now wanted to know even more about him. It got to the point where he didn't want her to think he was muggleborn and was forced to admit he was an orphan, and he could tell from the expression on her face that things would not go well.

He had to make sure she didn't write anything about his background. Facts like that printed in the paper could make things much harder for him in accomplishing his goals.

"Mrs. Skeeter…" His Professor's voice was oddly quite and sounded rather dangerous.

"The past, the families, and the private lives of these boys is not in anyway your business. I expect to see a great many articles about Dumbledore, but none about my students." He smiled softly.

Harry's intervention was not really need. Tom would have handled it just fine on his, but he wouldn't say it was unwelcome.

"Please keep in mind they are minors and while they may give anonymous statements to the paper their names are not to be used. You after all, must have permission to do more than that."

While unnerved, Skeeter would not give up that easily.

"Well seeing as your responsibly for them at the time; with your permission I could-"

"You do not have it. If you would like to speak of backgrounds, I believe I could interest you in a few facts about Dumbledore's past yes?"

The reporter let Tom's background go in favor of juicer meat, but Tom had learn valuable lesson here about reporters and how they should be approached with caution.

If Harry had know his thoughts he would have been very proud.


	23. Circus

Sorry, sorry this took along time and its not very long, however I believe it is a fairly good chapter, so was the last one despite the complaints I got.

Yes the last chapter wasn't as funny, but I had to get some character development in there somewhere. I was under the impression people liked that I was able to keep up a plot therefore in order to do so I need a character development chapter every 20 or so chapters at least.

On another note, I'm beginning to think we won't hit the trip until chapter 30 or so. There are just so many days I have to go though and so many characters that need to be brought into the story. Never fear that just means the story will be longer and therefore more awesome.

On another, another note my current poll shows 64% are for some kind of Harry/Tom %25 are against and %6 do not care. 92 people have taken my poll so far.

I've decided I shall wait and see if a way to add in Harry/Tom presents itself.

I like the idea of Tom having a crush on Harry however I shall not move in that direction if I feel I can't keep the humor as the main point of the story.

I must apologize to the 8% that want to see some action between the two because Tom is at the moment 15 and I can't think of an adult Harry in any reality that would have a physical relationship with a 15 year old. I may however make some hot one-shots if anyone would like that? They would not be added to this story, but posted as separate stories.

By all means go vote on my poll if you haven't yet, at the moment nothing is certain so you can still make a difference here.

So with all that out of the way enjoy this chapter called…

Circus

Harry thought it was a bit like keeping an enter circus from falling to their deaths on a tightrope.

In one corner we have the Vicious Reporter (Lion) who was just as capable of biting the hand that feeds instead of taking the meat given.

Next to the Vicious Reporter we have Child Rita (cub). A small reporter in training who was undoubtedly taking in every word and action so that she could copy her mother; out think her advisory and take them down like the predator she was.

Then over here we have the overconfident Heir of Slytherin (Wannabe lion tamer) who believes that he can stick his hand completely down the Vicious Reporter's throat without it being bitten off.

Now over there, is the Innocence Student Bystander (Volunteer from Audience). He doesn't know why he is there, in the ring. He did not expect to be attacked by the Vicious Reporter, and instead of the meat the creature craves, all he has to give is the peanuts he used to feed the elephants.

The tightrope is the dangerous balance our ever wonderful Fake Seer (Ringmaster) has somehow made, so that the goal can be accomplished with minimal injuries.

Yes, Harry thinks as the lion is closing its jaws around the Wannabe lion tamers arm, this really is kind of like a circus.

I wonder how much trouble they would get into if I took them to one? All this and we don't even have the…hmmm…now what would Abraxas be? Perhaps a Forced Volunteer from the Audience? That doesn't quite fit.

"An orphan you say?"

Oh, I almost missed the lion drawing blood; better not let her eat the whole arm. It's not good when they get a taste for human flesh you know.

"Mrs. Skeeter…" It's really bizarre when you have to refer to the evil creature that wants to eat you and your students as Mrs. I mean, I suppose it's always best to be polite, but I've never called a Dementor or a Dragon or anything else as vicious as what I now face, a Mrs.

Now that I think about it how do you tell the gender of a Dementor?

Oh right, right I'm getting off track. Need to say something menacing here.

"The past, the families, and the private lives of these boys are not in anyway your business. I expect to see a great many articles about Dumbledore, but none about my students."

To be a proper lion tamer one must always maintain their illusion of control. For in the circus, when you have lost the illusion, you could lose anything from the audience's interest to your very life.

"Please keep in mind they are minors and while they may give anonymous statements to the paper, their names are not to be used. You after all, must have permission to do more than that."

Now watch as the beast counters. "Well seeing as you're responsible for them at the time; with your permission I could-"

You must head her off before she senses weakness.

"You do not have it. If you would like to speak of backgrounds, I believe I could interest you in a few facts about Dumbledore's past yes?"

Only the highest grade of flesh will satisfy the Vicious Reporter now.

It was time for…Dumbledore's Past Revealed! Dun, Dun, Dun….

"As you may be aware Dumbledore grew up at…"

"Arriving at school with everyone knowing that his Father was a muggle hater…"

"Everyone knows he was brilliant and some know that his brother was not, of course few people remember his sister…"

"One summer, he befriended a young man that he felt was an equal in to his own brilliance. I'm talking of course about the young Gellert Grindelwald…"

"Rumor had it that they were more then friends though that I can not confirm..."

This was turning out to be extremely fun. Of course Dumbledore's history was rather long and it would have been boring to recite so much of it, if not for his very attentive audience.

Mrs. Skeeter, true to her inner beast, was nearly drooling as her quill speed along her parchment at a frightening speed. Young Rita, with eyes as large as galleons, did the same with her quill speeding across parchment as well, though Harry suspected that she was keeping track of things like facial expressions and tone of voice while her mother made sure to get every word said.

Septimus seemed so awed that he had forgotten to be uncomfortable in this setting; he looked at Harry with almost glazed eyes as he tried to sort all the new information out in his head.

Tom of course was most interesting, for he watched Harry speak with an almost disturbing intensity. What was Tom thinking now? Of course he would be nearly gleeful that Harry was ruining Dumbledore, but he was also calculating.

It was obvious that he was seeing Harry more and more as a possible threat or ally. Would this bring them closer or make him warier of Harry?

At least not letting Tom's name be dragged through the mud had to count for something right? Right.

So to close up this lovely perilous interview.

"And that was what became of Dumbledore's sister, and then of course Grindelwald fled to finish what Dumbledore helped him start alone. To this day the Dumbledore brothers are not on speaking terms; in fact I'm rather certain it was Aberforth who broke his brother's nose."

Harry leaned forward to stare evil in the face and give the last bit of the interview in a dramatic fashion.

"We may wonder Mrs. Skeeter why Dumbledore refused to atone for his sins. That instead of opposing the enemy he helped make, for he had shut himself off in a position of real power to help fight. No, instead of helping his country Albus Dumbledore prefers to meddle in the lives of the impressionable children that is our world's future."

Now time for the last nail in the coffin for ending Dumbledore's career at Hogwarts.

" It is my believe that Dumbledore's greater good is not for the greater good of the students; and as a teacher what is best for the students should always, always come first."

Oh yeah, that would so be quoted.

A marvelous ending if I do say so myself, thought Harry as he accepted the thanks Mrs. Skeeter gave him for the interview while waiting for little Rita to gather the last of her things so she could join his little collection of children that he was using as an experiment to see if he could change the world.

Harry was in fact feeling quite pleased with himself, now if only he could stop himself from smiling so he could still seem to be sad about Hedwig.

A brief check in with Abraxas.

Ever since Abraxas's parents had failed to kill his professor; when he had invaded their home (No, that wasn't right. No Malfoy should ever take the blame for anything), ever since his professor had had the audacity to break into their manor, and did not have the good sense to die (much better), Abraxas had tried to stay away from the man, or at the very least, not be alone with him.

However, do not think that just because he spent a majority of the time away from his insane professor that he was having a peaceful time. Oh no, Merlin forbid that he have a relaxing vacation!

He had, in the last few days, gotten yelled at by the caretaker who did not believe that he was here with permission, had to listen to Slughorn talk about his old school days for hours, and had gotten into a terrible argument with the sorting hat, he didn't know what its problem was, but he was beginning to think that the hat was bi-polar.

Mind you, this was all better than being in the presence of his professor, because he had yet to almost lose his hair when he wasn't around his professor. Yes, he was still angry about that razor and especially angry at Weasley for daring to attack him with that spell in their duel, which Abraxas had been winning by the way.

The last part of the duel where his professor had made the both them look like fools was to be ignored and forgotten for all of eternity.

Abraxas did not care if his professor was strangely competent at times, the slight against him and his family could not be forgiven! At least not while his vacation continued to get steadily worse.

That's right worse! It had gotten much worse thanks to a horrid, evil, and unpleasant turn of events!

Why, Abraxas thought as he mournfully gazed into the Gryffindor's narrowed eyes. Why is it always me?

Back to Harry.

Harry was blissfully unaware that there was unfolding drama back at Hogwarts, no he was having way too much fun to acknowledge, much less listen to his sense of doom at the moment.

Little Rita, the evil reporting lion cub, was an absolute pleasure in joining there little group.

Undoubtedly sensing where the weakness was she had already cornered Septimus trying to get him to tell her exactly was his thoughts and feelings for his professor was.

The boy was becoming quite flustered and if Harry didn't help out soon the entire school would ending up thinking that the boy had a crush on him.

Harry was fairly certain that, that was not true and that the boy was merely flustered at being asked those questions in the first place, still to anyone else that had seen the lions feed, it was obvious where that line of questioning was headed.

Now this was not what was so entertaining, no in fact Harry felt rather bad for Septimus and would help him out momentarily.

No the funny thing was Tom's expression as he realized that they had brought one of the creatures that had almost bitten off his metaphorical arm with them.

Oh yes, that was just priceless.


End file.
